February 23, 2009

Are you sure that test is error proof?

Well, since I'm pretty sure that most people have been called, or will soon be told by someone else, I thought we'd make an announcement....

We're pregnant!  I'm about 9 weeks along, and due sometime around October 1st.  Brian and I have already been to my first appointment where we got to see the baby, and we even got to see the heartbeat!   It was a little bit of an 'oh my goodness!' moment, as prior to that it hardly seemed real.  Of course, it very real now in the form of nausea and exhaustion.  The nausea seems to be getting better already, though, after only two weeks of being sick, so I feel very blessed.  Pretty soon we'll have a baby Popp...I'm sure there will be more updates between now and then...

February 21, 2009

A Preview of Goodbye

Tonight, Mena is spending the night somewhere else.  So is Cassandra, but she's done this several times, and she's older.  This will be Mena's first time in the over five months that she has been with us.  They are going to spend the night with their siblings at their foster home.  It is a great opportunity, because the family is interested in adopting all four of them and it gives the girls time to get to know them.  But there have definitely been mixed feelings about Mena being away.  Not being taken care of by me, or Brian, or my mom, or anyone really familiar.
This of course has led me to think about the time when they leave.  This is, I'm sure, just a fraction of what I will feel when they go.  After being their parents for - who knows how long at that point - trusting someone else to care for them completely.  To know that Mena won't eat green beans unless they're warm, but not hot.  That when Cassandra says see (si) she really means 'if'.  That Mena always cries at night, but that if you go back in the room you'll just make it worse.  I'm sure that their adoptive parents will figure all of this out, but it is still difficult.  It is the transition for the girls, the time it will take for the new family to know these special things about them, that makes my heart cringe.
The worst thing, though, that really brings me to tears, is the thought of Mena thinking I have left her.  It makes me nervous about this weekend, and makes me hurt for when they leave.  We can explain the move to Cassandra, and she will understand enough to know that we love her and always will.  There is no way to tell Mena.  I will be there one day, and the next she will be somewhere new, and there will be no way to explain to her that it is because I love her that she is going.  It breaks my heart.
However, as I think about all of this, it is a wonderful reminder that these children are not mine.  Not in the sense that I am not their biological parent, or in the sense that fostering is temporary.  These children are not mine, or their parents', or their adoptive family's - they are God's.  And I will let go with the knowledge that He has them in palm of His hand.  Only He holds their future.  In my knowledge of Him, I will trust that there is no greater security.

February 12, 2009

Never a dull moment here - the girls make sure of that!
Mena is walking all over the place now.  She took off full speed about three weeks ago and hasn't stopped since.  She's into everything, and it's rare that anything is where is should be, because she seems to have her own places for things.  She's started communicating quite a bit more too.  She can tell me when she wants up (Pup!), when she is hungry (nomnom!), and she has absolutely perfected letting me know when she is not happy.  She's become quite the drama queen, and throws fits when things aren't just so.  I feel like this is a challenging stage mostly because I can tell she knows when she is doing something she shouldn't be, but there doesn't seem to be any way for me to discipline that at this point.  Which mostly leads to me pulling my hair out on the 500th, "No, no, Mena."  and feeling completely ineffective.  She is a joy when she is happy though, with big smiles and giggles.
Cassandra is doing really well, also.  She is now completely caught up to her class in reading, and is on the higher end of where they ask that she be.  This is really exciting.  She's enjoying reading more now that she is doing so well, and I love that she is starting to like reading.  I'm finding that Cassandra also seems to be ahead in her social skills - I thought that pre-teenhood didn't start until 12 or so - but apparently seven is close enough.  We get lots of eye rolls, and stomping off to her bedroom - it's the cuddles in between that remind me that she's still just a little girl.
As far as how long the girls will be with us........at this point I'm going to say that your guess is as good as mine.  There have been more issues involving the Mexican Consulate that are far over my head, and it doesn't sound like anyone's in a hurry.  Frustrating, but we're dealing with the state here, probably could have been expected.  My generic answer when people ask how much longer has been, "A couple months..." but I think people have started to get suspicious, since I've been saying that since November.  All in God's time I suppose.

Anyway, just wanted to give a quick update on the girls, since I've been AWFUL about posting.  Hope all is well!


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