I think that all too often, we have figured out what would make our lives good (or let society and others do it for us), and maybe without even noticing it, we decide to trade what God has for us for what we have deemed good.
When really, what could be better than what God has for us?
Why would we want to trade what must be best for what we have deemed as good?
What God has for us may not be easy, it may not seem ideal, it probably won’t look a whole lot like the “American Dream”, it may not be what the world would say is best, and it may not be what we had in mind.
But I would imagine that neither did the gospel when it was being lived out by the Son of God.
Since we have decided to be open to the adoption of Bella and her sister, if it should come to that, I have heard a lot about what I will miss, what won’t be possible, and what I’ll be giving up.
About how busy I’ll be, running myself ragged. About how I’ll miss one on one time with my kids. About how I’m going to lose my mind when they’re all teenagers. What if my kids miss out on __________ fill in the blank.
I’m not convinced that we’ll give up anything close to what we’ll gain.
And if this is what God has for our family, those things are all good things, but I cling to the promise that what he has is best.
I could cling to those things, those ideals. And to be honest, many of those things are things I would love to cling to.
My life looks very different than I ever planned for it to – if it were up to ME Bella wouldn’t even be in our home. Because when she first came, and her medical/hospital schedule was much more rigorous than we were initially told – I did cling to those things. I told them she had to leave because, how would I ever have enough “one on one” time with Sylvia and Naomi if I was taking care of such a sick child? I wanted to cling to those things.
But thank God that through prayer and the support of our worker, God made it work. And I had to loosen my grip on some of those ideals.
And now I have a third daughter that I love incredibly. That I wouldn’t trade for the world. And it is because God knew what was best even when I knew what was good. My family, and how we work looks a lot different than most of the world – but quite frankly, it should.
This road he has us on will be hard. I will fail. I will face more difficulty than if I just kept things simple. My life will look different on the outside than most people my age, or at all for that matter. But I pray that because of the adversity, because it will keep my eyes and my dependence on Him, that it will look different on the inside too.
And what He has will be best.
So I will, against the traditional grain, risk giving up what I see as good.