July 10, 2012

Trading what is best for what is good.


I think that all too often, we have figured out what would make our lives good (or let society and others do it for us), and maybe without even noticing it, we decide to trade what God has for us for what we have deemed good.

When really, what could be better than what God has for us?

Why would we want to trade what must be best for what we have deemed as good?


What God has for us may not be easy, it may not seem ideal, it probably won’t look a whole lot like the “American Dream”,  it may not be what the world would say is best, and it may not be what we had in mind.

But I would imagine that neither did the gospel when it was being lived out by the Son of God.



Since we have decided to be open to the adoption of Bella and her sister, if it should come to that, I have heard a lot about what I will miss, what won’t be possible, and what I’ll be giving up.

About how busy I’ll be, running myself ragged.  About how I’ll miss one on one time with my kids.  About how I’m going to lose my mind when they’re all teenagers.  What if my kids miss out on __________ fill in the blank.


I’m not convinced that we’ll give up anything close to what we’ll gain.

And if this is what God has for our family, those things are all good things, but I cling to the promise that what he has is best


I could cling to those things, those ideals.  And to be honest, many of those things are things I would love to cling to.

My life looks very different than I ever planned for it to – if it were up to ME Bella wouldn’t even be in our home.  Because when she first came, and her medical/hospital schedule was much more rigorous than we were initially told – I did cling to those things.  I told them she had to leave because, how would I ever have enough “one on one” time with Sylvia and Naomi if I was taking care of such a sick child?  I wanted to cling to those things.

But thank God that through prayer and the support of our worker, God made it work.  And I had to loosen my grip on some of those ideals.


And now I have a third daughter that I love incredibly.  That I wouldn’t trade for the world.  And it is because God knew what was best even when I knew what was good.  My family, and how we work looks a lot different than most of the world – but quite frankly, it should.


This road he has us on will be hard.  I will fail.  I will face more difficulty than if I just kept things simple.  My life will look different on the outside than most people my age, or at all for that matter.  But I pray that because of the adversity, because it will keep my eyes and my dependence on Him, that it will look different on the inside too.


And what He has will be best.

So I will, against the traditional grain, risk giving up what I see as good.


  1. So proud of you for saying this. We have bios who are 3, 1, and due in Feb 2013, as well as a foster (hopefully-to-be-adopted) son who is 5 months old. We hear the "crazy" comments a lot. Let's keep our chins up; we know "God's way [for us] is always right and best." He has an abundance of blessing for our obedience we would never have imagined!

  2. Super post! If God's best for you is this, He will shine in how He enables you to live this adventure!

  3. Beautifully said. 2 years ago we had a foster baby, 3 months old, and were asked if we would consider taking her sister, 2 at the time, who has down syndrome. I got all the same comments, one that really bothered me was "She may never leave home" and while that is a valid point and something to be considered when in a situation like this, it was not presented as a help, but more like "Oh my! You couldn't possibly take that on. What about your bio kids??!" I know people ultimately meant well, but it broke my heart. I appreciate how you put in to words how we trade what is best for what is good. I can happily say that my girls have been legally added to our forever family for over a year now. Each day brings new strength and new ways to test my husband and myself :). They have pushed us in ways I didn't know possible, but they have also brought much joy and growth. On harder days the enemy will dangle thoughts of what life would be like had we "kept it simple" and I am quick to remember that we are who we are today because of our 2 girls and what they bring to our family. I must say, I wrestled with the Lord over the year that she was with us as a foster placement, but He was patient with me as I processed all the changes in our family, like going from 2 small kids to 4 in a matter of months and figuring out how to be a parent to a special needs child. Today we have 5 beautiful children (6, 5, 4, 2, 10months) and my life is far from easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. To top off all the crazy I am attempting to homeschool. Not tooting my own horn, just saying that I never saw myself doing a lot of the things that God has called me to do. I fail daily and am the first to admit it, but I know that His best is better than any plan I could ever dream up. I love popping in and reading about your family from time to time. Not sure how I found you, but wanted to say thanks for sharing. You have been an encouragement in my life.

  4. You know, when we consider adding to our family and we realize the things we will have to give up financially, I always think of my siblings. I would not trade them for anything. I would rather have my brother and sister than any family trip, college tuition, car, whatever. They have brought more happiness, they are my friends, I always know they will love me, they will be there when my parents are gone, there are on the other end of the phone when my parents are making me crazy. So, we too are trying our best to be open to God's plan for us. We have a biological daughter and we're working to become licensed as foster parents. I loved some of the things you posted probably over a year ago from an inspiring person. I think it was a preacher. My goal in life is not to build personal wealth. My goal in life is to live according to my faith and values. For me this means becoming a foster parent. We have considered trying for another biological child at the same time as pursuing foster care licensure, and while it scares me and I'm so afraid of getting in over my head, I keep reminding myself to live and make decisions based on faith, not fear. it feels right to pursue both and we both agree that we will make it work and follow what we feel called to do.
    Thank you for your blog. You are inspiring and remind me to live the life I'm supposed to live.
    Best of luck to you on this journey.
    Melissa in Durham

  5. I'm not sure how I found your blog, but I have been reading quietly for a while now. I just had to speak up and say thank you for this post. It really spoke to my heart, as I am struggling with a situation (not foster care, but a ministry opportunity) that would change the dream I had for my family. I know in my heart that God's best is better than my good, but I am really struggling. I struggle with knowing for sure it is God's will...anyway thank you so much. My husband and I have a heart for foster care too, and we hope to be able to foster someday.

  6. I love this. So thankful that you display obedience...no matter the cost or even the initial joy (or lack thereof). Beautiful.


Thanks for commenting!!


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