Suspense.

  I think it’s the suspense at the end of a pregnancy that kills me.  Maybe today?  Maybe tomorrow?  How many contractions has that been?  Consistent, or just in my head?  And then I remind myself, ‘Maggie, do you remember what labor was like with Sylvia?  You WILL KNOW when you are in labor, for real.’

  My midwife reminded me yesterday that God has a thing for waiting.  It’s strung throughout the entire Bible – wait.  patience.  He could have made pregnancies a specific number of days long, take away all this anticipation.  But he didn’t.  So I guess I’ll just … wait.

 

Apparently I’m not the only one who is ready.

Sylvia’s all, “Mom, do your pregnancy exercises, go into labor already.”

 

 

  I’m also excited to be able to start fostering again.  At this point in the pregnancy (actually for a few weeks now) we decided it would be best to hold off till post baby.  Cause really, can you imagine? 

  Here’s your new foster home.  I know your foster mom looks like she’s about to explode.  Actually, she is.

  And then two days later I go into labor, and then bring home a new baby.

Traumatic?  I think yes.

 

  So, lots of things that we are really, really, very much so, holding our breath kind of looking forward to.  Can’t wait! (But I guess we will.)

Random. Very.

My thoughts are completely scrambled right now.  Perfect time to write a blog post, yeah?  Stream of consciousness…..GO:

 

  We are steadily working toward Africa, and working with Samaritan Village from here as we go.  Right now this mostly looks like getting our house ready to sell and trying to get it on the market for some short period of time before the baby gets here.  After that I figure it will be  a couple months (or years.  seriously.)  before I can keep the house remotely clean enough for showings.

  We’re having a bathroom put in – which became an obviously mandatory step in selling our house.  It should be done mid-March and then we’ll list the house for a month or so.  We’ll call our agent when I go into labor to let him know to pull the house.  Not really – we’ll pull it before then, but every second counts, right?

  So we are moving steadily.  Slowly, but steadily.  Which is a good thing.  Have I mentioned that God has given me the heart of a doer?  When I’m passionate about something, I have enough get up and go to force a freight train into motion.  God is teaching me about waiting and patience.  This is a good lesson for me.

 

 

  It’s very easy for me to get discouraged and down (i.e. overly emotional) when we run into speed bumps with Samaritan Village.  It actually just occurred to me that it could have something to do with pregnancy hormones.  I like to act like they don’t exist, but evidence definitely leans to the contrary.  Post pregnancy I get reallly whacked out on hormones, so it’s not likely to get better any time soon.  Of course post pregnancy I’m a much more ‘random happy tears’ version of myself – which usually can only be a good thing.

  God is teaching me a lot about the difference between finding my peace in my emotions vs. finding my peace in Him.  He’s much more stable.  Definitely the way to go.

 

  God has been faithful to continue to smooth said speed bumps and open doors for our work with Samaritan Village.  Brian is working diligently right now on the organization’s structure to prepare if for growth and better efficiency.  He insists I’m needed in this – something about balancing him out – but he has a great business mind (bragging on my husband.  that’s allowed.)  and right now I’m mostly just cheering him on.  I feel like I will be of most use once we get to Africa.

  Which is another thing God is teaching me.  I am a micro-level person.  I am very hands on.  I am a social worker through and through.  I cannot wait to get to Arusha and wrap my arms around those kiddos.

 

  God is teaching me so much through this journey.  SO much.  Unfortunately I have baby brain to the max, and I cannot verbalize or put into text anything that flows for more than two paragraphs.  I’ll try to do a better job in the future though.  Till then, God is good.  All the time.

PoppSecret #2

  I can’t claim the fame on that name. (Whoah.  Just call me Dr. Seuss.)  Our friend Matt called Sylvie PoppSecret before she was born (since we don’t share names prior to the big introduction) and it stuck.

  Anyway, so I’m on my way to being 31 weeks pregnant.  I’m really not sure how that happened – this pregnancy has flown.  I hear it’s because of Sylvia, but we had kids 6 out of the 9 months of my last pregnancy and it didn’t go this fast!  The belly is definitely making it’s presence known in the way of running into unsuspecting passers by who underestimate it’s giganticness (probably not a word.) and by moving around violently like someone inside is doing the cha-cha.  I thought Sylvie was active in utero – but this child’s got her beat for sure.

We could be in trouble folks.

Not feeling gigantic, just, you know, 30 weeks pregnant.  After looking at comparison pics from the last pregnancy, I don’t feel too off the charts.  We’ll see, I have an appointment with my midwife on Friday where I will hopefully be told that the baby is petite like her mama.

Giving the baby kisses.

Sylvia points at my belly all the time and says, “baby?”  Of course, she also points to her own belly all the time and says the same thing.  She might be confused.  We’ve been reading lots of books about babies and talking about her baby sister, but I’m pretty sure she’s got no clue what’s coming.

 

Huugggss.

 

  After some of our good friends had a very scary experience with their little girl, Sylvie’s BF, this weekend – I spent Valentines Day so incredibly thankful for the loves that I’ve been blessed with.  It always sounds so cliché to talk about how things can change so quickly, but I will treasure every second.  Husbands don’t come any more valiantly on white horses than mine, and motherhood has been, by far, the greatest blessing in my life.

  Being a parent, the joy in it, is beyond my explanation.  Before Sylvie was born, my brother said, “It’s kind of like this huge party that you’ve always heard about, but have never been invited to.  And then you become a parent and you’re like, ‘holy cow, no wonder everyone shows up!’”  It’s like this secret that you can’t know until you find yourself holding your child – however they may come to you – and you think, how could I have not known this love before?  Incredible.

 

  Little baby in my belly, I cannot wait to meet you.  I cannot wait to see what changes you hold for our family.  I cannot wait to see what you look like.  Soon you will be here, and I will think, how could I have not known this love before?  We are anxiously anticipating your arrival.

                           Love you, love you, love you,

                                                              Mama