This takes everything. When you become a parent, it IS your life - it requires all of you. I'm so glad for short nap times when I can spend some time finding God. In some ways, since this adventure has started, I feel like I have lost a part of myself - primarily because I don't have time to think about that very thing - myself. Which brings me to the things God has surfaced in my life through this trial:
1. My impatience.
2. My selfishness.
Parenting does not allow for these - so they really stick out like a sore thumb. God is working on these in me. I find myself thinking, "I just want some normalcy back!" (which no longer exists) and longing to be at YAMS or out with Brian instead of doing bed time. That's when God stops me and says, "Maggie, why are you doing this? What makes this worth it, the conditions of your current circumstances, or me?"
So when Mena is crying and won't take her nap, or when Cassandra just can't make it through her homework - I have to stop asking God to change my circumstances, because that is His lesson plan. Instead I have to ask him to change my heart to be more like His.
With all of that said, thank you Mom.
Oh Maggie ~ how I agree with you that God has many wonderful purposes for our children and one big one being to teach us so much about ourselves and Himself.
ReplyDeleteSeeing you with the girls by the way is amazing...You are doing a excellent job. :-)
Riv
Maggie-
ReplyDeleteI've thought about what to say here that won't sound trite. Rest assured that all parents end learn these same lessons. It's hard, but it's an important thing you and Brian are doing. You can't possibly prepare for it. I think that children are one of God's most effective ways of sanctifying us and teaching us what his love is really like. I don't think I understood how significant it is that God is long-suffering until now. He loves his children perfectly, and we are so difficult to love (not for him, but you catch my meaning). I'll be praying for your joy as you figure this all out. Call if you need someone to listen. I'd be happy to.