January 3, 2012

Caseplan.

Bella's case plan meeting was two and a half weeks ago - I just suck at getting updates posted in any timely manner.

I think it has something to do with the children who have, in the last 24 hours, squeezed all of my lotion out onto the floor and practically bathed in it, covered the kitchen floor in thousands of tiny pieces of paper bag confetti, and opened every card game that we own and mixed all of the cards together into one big mixed up pile - all in the name of having fun.

The case plan meeting went very well.

Dad is still very motivated and doing everything he is asked. Mom (more recently) has really gotten on board and is seeming much more excited to get the girls home.

The plan is to officially, 100% transition Bella home at the very beginning of March. Her next court date is March 1, and they will move her in the days following. Between now and then, they will continue to do weekend visits and possibly start extending them into the week.

They've done a very thorough job at planning this transition. They have slowly increased visits, and will continue to do so, while monitoring how things are going. They have put family therapy in place that will help the family with nutrition and family interaction. And after Bella transitions home, they will continue to monitor how everything is going in the home for three months. I have to say, I am impressed. This is the best we've seen the system work thus far.

It is also helpful that we have had the opportunity to develop a good relationship with Bella's parents. I see them at every doctor's appointment, which is very frequent. They also call every night to talk to Bella, which keeps communication open between us. Bella's Dad has always been very excited to tell us about his progress, and we've been happy to provide support and encouragement along the way.

The only thing that concerns me is the emotional toll it is taking on Bella to go back and forth between our house and her parent's house. Every weekend she goes there for 2-3 days (soon to be more) and then has to leave again and come back to our house. It has been extraordinarily difficult for her to process.

In her attempt to process the back and forth, trauma related behaviors have snuck up and attacked. Huge, long, irrational tantrums are our norm these days. We've also seen a lot more defiance and disrespect. We've also seen a handful of behaviors tossed in that, "I get to do at my Mom and Dad's house." Pleasant things like spitting at us when she gets an unfavorable answer. It breaks my heart to see all of it. It isn't her, it's her pain. She's like a completely different child.

I'm just concerned because she will continue to be put through the proverbial wringer for another two months before she can finally find a resting place and consistency. I'm not sure there is a better answer though.

 

Anyway, we are officially transitioning her home.

2 notes from you:

Mama P said...

Ugh, that hurts my heart for Bella. We went through that transition with Princess, but it was only for one month that we had the transition. I saw the same behaviors and an increase in her food regurgitation (something she had done from the start).

:(

MamaFoster said...

our state does the transitioning you are seeing with almost every case i have had...in fact my first foster daughter "transitioned" for like 6-8 months which was as bad as what you are seeing with bella.

it is hard and i wish i could say it gets better, but it didn't really get any better for us the more she went back and forth. it is very confusing for them.

i know that the court and parents need time to try to get the situation safe for the kids BUT they really should do that and then do MAYBE a two month transition because these long transitions are very hard on EVERYONE. If they are safe enough to let them spend two night at the home a week they are safe enough for them to go home. (I say that is a paper work type fashion...I am not sure that safety is ever really secure in these situations).

Post a Comment

Thanks for commenting!!

Related Posts with Thumbnails
I hate to even have to say this - but - due to posts from the blog being used in ways contrary to its purpose, I have to ask that before you use any content from the blog anywhere else that you ask the permission of the author. (You can do so via comments or through the e-mail listed below.) Thanks!
Fostering Foster Care Sylvia Jae God Zee love Foster Questions Family Bella Naomi Project 365 kids placement X-Man summer boys Jesus Adoption hard stuff. Why Foster? Brian Respite Fall goodbye update Africa prayer sisters Hurt visits trip 1 Year Birthdays Going Home becoming a foster parent move new baby travel fun times. joy 5 months Cassandra Mena Tanzania food phonecall spring 7 Months Christmas Milestones behavior helpful 2 years 6 months 8 months 9 months Court birth 11 Months Friends Mr. Popp blessings horn creek sick video 10 months 3 Months Blogging Daddy Naps Orphanage Popp e-mails nephew physical aggression preggo picture sylvie therapeutic parenting treatment vacation worth it. 1 month 17 Months 2 months 4 months Craft Police Rest baby #2 beauty cousins free hard stuff labor relaxation trust 16 months 18 months 20 months Carter Chicago Faking Foster Parent Panel Holy Cow. Messes Popp Baby 2 Stress aging bodily functions. confidentiality decorations disruption emergency empowered to connect lice licensing life marriage medication picnic poverty sewing struggle thankful the connected child visit walking 14 months 15 months 19 months 21 Months 22 months Abby Alondra Chikfila ER Easter Halloween Jose Link McDonalds Picasso Rahab Risk Samaritan Village Thrifty Wrap Up activity anniversary ask me anything award awkward. baseball boogers. book review boundaries break camping conference control deal discernment disruptions famil fear forum grandma and grandpa's hair hate insane. melmo memories midwife miss you. motherhood nesting nicknames parenting present pudding pushovers. random repost reunification special night thanks traditions
Loading...
Provided by graphic design schools website.