Thump, thump, thump.

  The most beautiful sound in the world.

When you’re at your midwife’s office anyway.

 

Baby Popp #2 will be rearing their head (too graphic?) sometime around April 23, 2011!  One of the many reasons I haven’t been blogging much as of late – I’ve been completely nauseous for the last six weeks.  Luckily it seems to have subsided, and now, just like when I was pregnant with Sylvie, I’m just sure I could be pregnant forever.

This little one snuck up on us.  Apparently already very stealthy – I’ll have to watch that once he/she becomes mobile.  But surprise or not, we are very excited, and feel so very blessed.  Besides, now we will have our own little one to call ‘boo boo’.  (Just joking.  We probably won’t.  But it is true that my parents called me their little boo boo until I was old enough to understand what it meant.  I may or may not have been scarred.  Ha!  Not really – I think it’s hilarious.) 

 

We got to hear the heartbeat today.  Nothing in the world makes me marvel more than the creation of a little baby inside their mama – God’s work is incredible.

 

It may seem very silly, but I am also excited to have a reason to be back at our birth center!  I love my midwife.  I love the experience that I had there with Sylvia.  I love their attitude, the homey atmosphere, the down to earth people.  Anyway – did I mention I love our birth center?

 

Sylvie and the new baby will be just 18 months apart.  At first it made me a little nervous.  But then I remind myself that there isn’t any way it will be harder than it was with Sylvie and X-man.  I want to rejoice in every minute of it!  I refuse to take any of it for granted.  I know there are so many women who struggle with infertility or losing children – and I will not take for granted the blessing that is this little heartbeat inside of me.

 

Little baby, we cannot wait to meet you.  I can’t wait to see what you bring to our family, how you will change us, stretch us, and bring us such incredible joy.  You are already loved.  I will nurture you in my womb, and you will be smothered in love when you arrive.  Are you a boy or a girl?  Will you look like your daddy or me?  Will you be like your sister, or completely different?  Oooohh, I just can’t wait.  See you in 29(ish) weeks love.

    Love you, love you, love you,

                                           Mama

 

Project 365 – Week 30

A friend of mine gave me a bag of clothes to try on…and Sylvia found them before I put them away.  I didn’t expect dress up to start this early – but she loved it!

 

 

Sylvie and Daddy catching raindrops in their mouths.

 

We met some of our college friends back in Columbia, and took Sylvia to her first Mizzou football game!  She was very excited.

 

M-I-Z!!

 

Sylvie even got to ride the tiger on campus for the first time.  What a little rebel.

Training tips.

In just a couple of weeks I am going to start co-teaching a training class for people interested in licensing to foster.  (In our parts, and in lots of states, it’s called a MAPP class, but it goes by many names.)

I’m a little nervous.  Even though I went through an ungodly number of training hours (40!!!!) to become a leader, this will be the first time I’ve taught through the curriculum.  I’m co-teaching with our family worker, which is great, we have a good working relationship and I feel like we’ll do well together.

 

Anyway, mostly just posting to ask a few questions of the foster parents out there….

What did you really like about your foster training?  What didn’t you like?  What should there have been more of?  What would you change?  Fill me in.

 

There’s not a ton of wiggle room in the curriculum, but I’d be happy to hear your thoughts!

Project 365 – Week 29

Mmmmm….Strawberry Shortcake

 

We’re just going to call this their first date.  Since they were matching and all.

Don’t worry Zack.  She may seem inattentive now, but I’m sure she’ll be more interested in a few years.  Or 25.

 

Double Mmmmm.  The homemade version of Red Lobster biscuits that Brian made for me.  I’m spoiled.  They were incredible.

 

Just chillin’ with my Mommy.  Life is good.

 

Workday for a not-for-profit downtown.  After taking this picture I mused that really all I needed was a dress and heels and I might be able to pull off a little June Cleaver action.  Then again, if I were wearing a dress and heels, I’d have been on my way home to change.

Trust. More.

Brian and I have really been struggling as of late regarding placements.  Trying to determine what type (ages, behaviors, background info) of placement is a good fit right now.  Typically we’ve been open to almost any placement that they call us with.  But due to having Sylvia, our most recent experience, and some other factors playing into our lives right now we feel like it’s important for us to be very discerning at this time.

Lucky for us (since we haven’t come to any conclusions), we haven’t gotten any calls yet for children that would even be a possibility.  We’ve gotten lots of calls for kids with physical aggression, very large sibling groups, and older boys with no background info.  These, during this season of our lives, just aren’t possible.

 

Anyway.  We’ve been stressing about it.

How do you trust God while putting up stiff boundaries?  Is that really trusting at all?  But God also has given us brains to use, and the ability to determine lines between obedience and being foolish when he’s not asking us to be.

Back and forth.  Back and forth.

 

But I was thinking back to before Sylvia was born.  We had decided that we were not going to take any more placements until she arrived.  It was not out of lack of obedience or willingness – we just felt it was the best call to make, and we felt at peace with it.

Of course almost exactly one month before her grand entrance we got a phone call for a baby boy.  He was 15 months old, but was developmentally around 4 months, and he weighed a mere 12 pounds.  We knew it was crazy.  Most of the people we know thought it was crazy.  But it was undeniable that this frail little boy was exactly what God had for our family.  We prayed about it and knew that we needed to say yes.

And that was when we met our sweet X-man.

The first couple months after Sylvie was born were hard.  He was very high need, he was sick a lot, they were developmentally about 8 months apart.  And looking back, we would not trade one single moment of our time with our sweet boy.  (Okay, maybe that one moment when he crawled around the house with poop in the feet of his jammies.)  And what I wouldn’t do to get to give him another hug.  He is forever a part of my heart.

 

All that to say, that even when we had decided not to take placements for a while, God made it abundantly clear what he wanted of us.  I think Brian and I have been over analyzing it all.  We have been worried about trusting enough for the strength to take another placement – when what we really have been lacking is the trust that he will lead us in the next steps for our family.  And he will.

So we’ll keep taking phone calls, and we’ll keep praying, and I know that he will once again lead us to what he is asking of us – even if we aren’t clear on what that is.

 

This lesson God is teaching us reminds me of one of my favorite stories about Mother Teresa.  (I’ve quoted it here before, but who couldn’t use a little Mother Teresa in their day?)

 

A man felt the call of God on his life, he was sure that God had something huge planned for him. The only problem was that he wasn't sure what it was that he was supposed to do. So he figured he needed prayer. Upon meeting Mother Teresa, he asks her, "Mother Teresa, will you pray for me?" She says, "Sure, what would you like me to pray for you about?" He states, "Clarity. I want to know in no uncertain terms what God wants me to do with my life." She looks back at him and says, "No, I won't pray for you for that." Very confused and embarrassed, the man spurts out, "Well why not? I only want for my life what you have had so clearly in yours. You seem to always know exactly what God's calling you to do."
Mother Teresa looks back at him and said, "I sir, have never had clarity. What I have had is trust. So I'll pray that you learn to trust."

Project 365 – Week…uummm…

So this is my Project 365 post for the past, say, four weeks.  I really am going to get back on the ball with all this.

 

Me and my favorite Hannah B.  Love this girl.

 

Snugglin’ my daddy and my baby.

 

A terrible quality picture of my husband and I on a date.  But those are always worth documenting.

 

“I LOVE TO SWING!”

 

Helping Daddy carry the umbrella.

 

Me with my Aunt Gail.

 

Snugglin’ with my Grandpa.

 

Life is very hard, you know.

 

Especially now that I’ve learned how to throw fits.

Ava: What is she doing????

 

Porch Swingin’ with my Daddy.

 

And my Grandma.

 

Sylvie’s first trip to Shakespeare’s Pizza.  Definitely a momentous occasion.

 

Because Shakepeare’s is just that good.

 

Sylvie giving her cousin Timmy some love.

 

Just swingin.  (This is right before I dumped us both off onto the ground.)

 

Sylvia seems just as enthusiastic about reading the Wall Street Journal as her daddy is.

Maybe I should be worried.

11 Months.

Sylvie, this month has been a joy.  It's been just you and me for most of the month (during the day that is), and we've gotten to hang out and play together so much!  I have enjoyed every minute.  You are growing and learning so quickly, I'm sure I'll miss some of the new things you're doing here, but I'll do my best.

You are constantly exploring and getting into everything.  It is so much fun to watch you learning as you tear apart the house (I almost don't even notice.).  Between pulling all the books off the shelves, spreading the coasters around the house, unraveling the toilet paper, pulling out all of the tupperware, unloading the diaper bag, and doing an impeccable job at equally distributing your toys in every room of the house - you stay a pretty busy girl.  You're just so darn happy while you're dismantling everything that it's hard for me to even care!
You just started really getting into your baby doll.  You bring her to me, and I pat her, rock her, and kiss her, and then you take her back and do the same.  You mimic the inflections in my voice when I'm pretending to rock the baby, and it is ridiculously cute.  You love to read and look at books, and you get very excited when you know that we are going to sit down to read together.

You are really, really walking now.  In the last couple of weeks you decided that you think it's a pretty good idea, and you walk without any prompting a lot.  You can also get to standing from sitting on the floor without any support. 
You've started mimicking a lot.  While you're eating you have me pretend to eat off of your fork, and you smack your lips along with me.  You blow raspberries, you try to get my tummy, you give kisses and cuddles, you wave hello and goodbye, and you can turn almost anything into a phone - holding it up to your ear as if you're talking to someone.   If I ask you, "Sylivia, how much do I love you?" then you throw your hands up into the air - So Much!
You laugh at everything.  Apparently the world is hilarious.  And anytime you hear us laughing....you mimic our laugh.  So you're laughing a good portion of the time.
You have eight teeth now - they seem to come in hoards.  You eat strictly solid foods now, and you aren't terribly picky.  You love it when I make you smoothies.  You still nurse around four times a day - which I am completely ok with! - no signs of weaning any time soon.
Vacation completely threw off your sleep schedule, but you slept (almost) completely through the night in your own bed twice in the last week! 
As opposed to just a few months ago, you call almost everything MaMa now.  You are making lots of sounds though - and sometimes it's clear you're trying to tell us something (we're still trying to figure out what it is though.).  Your looks are a pretty good mix of your dad and I at this point, but when you smile anyone would guess that you are your daddy's girl.  I think it's the mischief behind the smile that makes the two of you so similar.
You love playing with other kids - and with your first birthday right around the corner, you're interacting with you're friends a lot more too.  Along with all the cute stuff, you've also started throwing fits.  When you don't get what you want, or I have to take something away, you plop down on the ground, fuss and cry, and put your face down on the floor.  (Really, this is pretty cute too.)

I know I'm leaving out a million things.  I don't want to forget, and I know you'll change too fast - but I'm also looking forward to every stage to come.
I love you so much.  Too much to even explain.  Someday you'll have a little baby, and I'm not sure you'll quite understand my love for you until then.  But it is so deep.

Love you, love you, love you,
                                          Mama