September 15, 2010

Trust. More.

Brian and I have really been struggling as of late regarding placements.  Trying to determine what type (ages, behaviors, background info) of placement is a good fit right now.  Typically we’ve been open to almost any placement that they call us with.  But due to having Sylvia, our most recent experience, and some other factors playing into our lives right now we feel like it’s important for us to be very discerning at this time.

Lucky for us (since we haven’t come to any conclusions), we haven’t gotten any calls yet for children that would even be a possibility.  We’ve gotten lots of calls for kids with physical aggression, very large sibling groups, and older boys with no background info.  These, during this season of our lives, just aren’t possible.


Anyway.  We’ve been stressing about it.

How do you trust God while putting up stiff boundaries?  Is that really trusting at all?  But God also has given us brains to use, and the ability to determine lines between obedience and being foolish when he’s not asking us to be.

Back and forth.  Back and forth.


But I was thinking back to before Sylvia was born.  We had decided that we were not going to take any more placements until she arrived.  It was not out of lack of obedience or willingness – we just felt it was the best call to make, and we felt at peace with it.

Of course almost exactly one month before her grand entrance we got a phone call for a baby boy.  He was 15 months old, but was developmentally around 4 months, and he weighed a mere 12 pounds.  We knew it was crazy.  Most of the people we know thought it was crazy.  But it was undeniable that this frail little boy was exactly what God had for our family.  We prayed about it and knew that we needed to say yes.

And that was when we met our sweet X-man.

DSC_0098 The first couple months after Sylvie was born were hard.  He was very high need, he was sick a lot, they were developmentally about 8 months apart.  And looking back, we would not trade one single moment of our time with our sweet boy.  (Okay, maybe that one moment when he crawled around the house with poop in the feet of his jammies.)  And what I wouldn’t do to get to give him another hug.  He is forever a part of my heart.


All that to say, that even when we had decided not to take placements for a while, God made it abundantly clear what he wanted of us.  I think Brian and I have been over analyzing it all.  We have been worried about trusting enough for the strength to take another placement – when what we really have been lacking is the trust that he will lead us in the next steps for our family.  And he will.

So we’ll keep taking phone calls, and we’ll keep praying, and I know that he will once again lead us to what he is asking of us – even if we aren’t clear on what that is.


This lesson God is teaching us reminds me of one of my favorite stories about Mother Teresa.  (I’ve quoted it here before, but who couldn’t use a little Mother Teresa in their day?)


A man felt the call of God on his life, he was sure that God had something huge planned for him. The only problem was that he wasn't sure what it was that he was supposed to do. So he figured he needed prayer. Upon meeting Mother Teresa, he asks her, "Mother Teresa, will you pray for me?" She says, "Sure, what would you like me to pray for you about?" He states, "Clarity. I want to know in no uncertain terms what God wants me to do with my life." She looks back at him and says, "No, I won't pray for you for that." Very confused and embarrassed, the man spurts out, "Well why not? I only want for my life what you have had so clearly in yours. You seem to always know exactly what God's calling you to do."
Mother Teresa looks back at him and said, "I sir, have never had clarity. What I have had is trust. So I'll pray that you learn to trust."


  1. I needed this so much today.

    My husband and I are just now reopening our home to foster children after taking a break with the birth of our twins.

    We have praying and stressed over what 'kind' of placement we should accept and what 'kind' of child could we foster while still protecting our children.

    Thank you for the reminder to walk by faith and listen for His voice.

  2. Great post, Maggie! I totally agree with what you are saying and I think it is very wise for you to be discerning right now. You cannot be too careful. Best of wishes in saying yes to that phone call that will be the right one!!

  3. I can totally relate to all those feelings! I try to remember that God has trusted me with my own kids and husband first and foremost, just as God has trusted you with Sylvie. So I don't think it is in any way showing a lack of faith to consider her needs and the family's needs.

    One of my personally most helpful quotes comes from Pope John Paul II: "Give until it hurts." He didn't say 'give until it's dangerous' though. It's finding that balance. Like all of life, right?

  4. I haven't heard that story from Mother Teresa before. Thanks for your example of faith.

    Not being foolish is important. God expects us to use the blessings he's given us - one of which is our brain! :)

  5. we struggle withthe same things and yet we try to trust that the kids that are here are the kids that are meant to be here. When we put the boundaries out there about adopting more kids we did it with our kids in mind but trusting that what will be will be and it is hard to do but there is no other way to do it.

  6. do what is best for your baby. HE blessed you with a very precious gift.

    i have missed you on here. i am glad you are getting a break though :)

  7. Trusting God will give you hit the nail on the head w/ your story about Xman...sometimes the right thing doesn't make"sense" our 20 years of fostering we sort of had a policy to take kids younger than ours...fortunately nobody in our region wanted to mess w/ infants... too labor we are at a dozen kids...only God knows the future.
    I believe in divine appointments...Gid will give you the kids who need you most.
    God Bless you , guys.

  8. Just starting the process now we're having to make these same decisions, keeping our 2 1/2 year old and her safety first. But we both have a very hard time saying no when it comes to a child in need so we have a lot to learn.
    We'll be doing a lot of praying and trusting in the weeks to come, glad to know that this is a normal part of the process.

    Excellent story from Mother Theresa.


Thanks for commenting!!


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