confi·denti·ali·ty:

  I’ve had lots of questions and comments as of late regarding confidentiality.  Lines, gray areas, etc.  How does your agency define it?  What guidelines do you follow?

  I posted some of my thoughts on confidentiality here a while back.  We went to a foster parent support meeting at our agency that discussed confidentiality, and Brian asked about our blog and any limits we should be keenly aware of.  We were told that our blog as it is now is fine, just not to give case specifics, names, you know, social security numbers, that kind of thing.

 

  Confidentiality limits with close family members is another difficult area to navigate.  “Yeah, Mom?  We’re coming to visit this weekend with three new kids, but can’t tell you a single thing about them.”  Could be challenging.  Thoughts?

 

  Feel free to leave any tips or thoughts for new or prospective foster parents in the comments, and I also started a new discussion over at Fosterhood’s forum.

 

 

P.S.  I will try to get caught up on the questions people have sent me about fostering!  Since we’ve been a little out of the loop, I let it fall through the cracks – but I’m working on it!  If I haven’t answered your question and it’s been a while, please resend it and I’ll answer it this time! 

  If you have questions about fostering or adopting then you can either e-mail them to me (my e-mail is over there on the right) or you can ask them in the “ask me anything” box over there on the right.  See it?  Yeah?  Ask.

Because the Church has no pinch hitter.

We must force ourselves to step to the plate.

A family member forwarded me this article, ‘My Take: On Adoption, Christians Should Put Up or Shut Up.’  A lot of what is posted on the Belief Blog I don’t agree with, but this gets a resounding Amen.

 

Soapbox, please.

 

  When people hear you’re a foster parent, it can spark some interesting conversations.  Lots of people give me their two cents on foster care – having no real background – and that’s ok, I like to talk about it, love it actually.

 

  But there are some comments that I think this article responds to very well.

 

Sometimes I get the:

  “You know, there are a lot of people who think that the government shouldn’t even run programs like foster care – that it is the responsibility of the church and therefore should be left to the church.”

 

  I agree.  Wholeheartedly.  Just one thing.  A small detail.

I am ‘the church’.  You are ‘the church’.

You are ‘the church’.

  So where does that leave us?

 

Or there is the inevitable conversation about abortion.  Outlawing.  Picketing.  Cutting funds.  I can only think of one thing – “So you’re licensing to adopt then?  Foster, maybe?  For all of those children who have nowhere to go?”  There will be thousands, and

I am ‘the church’.  You are ‘the church’.

You are ‘the church’.

  So where does that leave us?

 

There are lots of reasons not to foster.  There are lots of reasons not to adopt.  I am not saying that everyone should do either.  But I don’t say that to let anyone off the hook either.  Because the reality is that

 

I am the church.  You are the church.

We are ‘the church’.

 

  What’s crazy is that Jesus meant what he said.  We’re talking the Son of GOD here, there are no suggestions.  And the repercussion of true belief is action.  Let’s step up to the plate.  Following through on what we believe is not always easy, but it is always a blessing.

  I don’t post this out of a heart that thinks I’ve got no hypocritical blind spots.  I know that I do, and I pray that if my brothers and sisters in Christ see a blind spot of mine, that they would show me, and encourage me to live what I say I believe.

Because we are ‘the church’.

Two Months.

  I love you.

 

And to be honest, at this point in your life, you pretty much love me too.  Of course, I’ve got the mama milk, so I have an unfair advantage.  Speaking of mama milk, you’re starting to get a little baby chub, which only makes you cuter.  I can count the number of times you have spit up on one hand, which is really great – but somehow every time you eat you manage to get us both soaked in milk – we could work on that.  It seems you might keep your blue eyes – they only seem to be getting lighter.  How I ended up with two blue eyed girls is beyond me.  You’re hair seems to be staying dark, though.  You’re sister is practically a blonde now, but I think you’ve got your Mommy’s hair – and lots (lots.) of it.

 

Post bath.  Once I start taking pictures of you, I think you get weirded out by the camera and you just make funny faces.  So I guess you’ll just make silly faces in all of your infant pictures.

 

You have been such an easy baby.  And you are sooooo happy.  You are smiley all of the time (mostly for Mommy and Sylvie, but that’s ok, you’ll be a Daddy’s girl soon enough.).  You’ve started cooing and making a sound that sounds kind of laugh-ish.  I love it when you coo at me, and Sylvie says "Naomi talkin’!”.

 

I think you love your sister most of all.  That is, when she’s not smothering you or bludgeoning you with toys.  She tries.  And she really does love you.  You smile any time she talks to you, and you can’t take your eyes off of her.  You two will be sweet friends.

 

 

 

 

My very favorite part of the day is snuggling up with you to sleep.  I love sleeping with you, and I’m pretty sure you love it too.  I lay you down in the bed at night while I get ready for bed, and when you see that I’m laying down with you, you start making noise and breathing faster – you just can’t wait!  I think you’ve got snuggling in your blood, just like me.

 

You also met your uncle Scott for the first time when you turned two months old.  You like him so much you try to eat him up.

 

I cannot believe you are two months old.  Sometimes I forget you won’t be a baby forever – and then I look at your sister.  I am trying my best to soak you up – but it would work better if you wouldn’t grow so fast.  I love you more than you will ever know.

 

Love you, love you, love you,

                                      Mama.

What better reason…

  to go get a frosty this weekend!!!!

 

 

…as if you needed a reason…

Faux-cation Part 2.

Hangin’ at the pool,

 

Desy was unsuspectingly getting decorated while he slept.  The hazard of having lots of girl cousins.

 

 

The second half of our week we road tripped back home and had fun here…

 

Of course, on our way home we had to stop by Mizzou and introduce our daughters to the splendor that is everything gold and black.

 

 

We had to visit Gumby’s Pizza while we were there.  (Had to meaning: Mommy can’t go through Columbia without it.)

Naomi obviously approves.

 

 

Sylvia also approved

 

of Gumby’s….and of Daddy.

 

 

Got lots of yard work done (thank you Grandma and Grandpa!)

 

Ready for summer.

 

We went to the fountains downtown – Sylvia had so much fun!  She never actually got into the sprays, but she played around the edges and loved watching the big kids!

 

 

Faux-cation 2011 was an absolute success.

Yes, yes, yes, No.

  Any foster parent who’s been fostering for any time at all has had the same experience.

 

  Intake calls with a placement that seems almost too well suited for your family.  A perfect fit, as much as there can be in foster care.  You say yes.  Everything’s a go.  Bringing the kids in an hour.  Start rearranging your bedrooms.

  They call back.  Ummm…well, actually, nevermind.

Yuppers.  We got a call the other night for a two year old girl.  No siblings, mother in the area, just coming into care.  We were really excited and started to prepare our hearts to love her the best we possibly could.

Turned out they didn’t have a piece of paperwork that they needed to place with our agency.  Boo.  We were disappointed, but mostly were just praying they’d find a good, loving home for that little girl.  Not in the plans for us.

 

So we’re waiting again.  You’d think I’d get used to all this.  Not that it hasn’t gotten much easier – it’s just still not easy.  I just wish I could stop myself from getting my hopes up!

Anyone who has fostered for any time at all also knows what I’m talking about when I say I’m getting antsy.  I try so hard not to – just to be present and soak up the way things are now.  But it’s like a jolt of adrenaline through my veins each time the phone rings  ….   Is our whole life about to change?

 

But, soon enough, things will change.  Soakin’ up these two loves I’ve got here with me until they do.

20 Months.

  It seems a little ridiculous to write a 20 month post.  I know that.  But you are at such a great age, and you’re learning so much.  I don’t want to forget.

 

  You are talking like crazy.  All of a sudden, you get it, and you are stringing together two and three words regularly.  My favorite phrase, of course, being “Wud you Mommy”.  You refer to yourself as ‘Yaya’ – "Yaya’s water?  Elmo loves Yaya.”. 

Sylvia: Urse?  (asking to nurse.)

Mommy: No, you can’t nurse right now.  It’s Naomi’s turn right now.

Sylvia: Urse, Please?  Yaya’s turn?

You’ve also added phrases to your vocabulary such as, “No, no Bucko!” and “No way Jose!”, it’s very cute.  When you want me to play with you you say, “Mommy with you.  Come. (you lead me into the playroom) Sit.” 

You mimic everything.  Which is sometimes kind of unfortunate, but can also be hilarious.  You now call your dad and I Brian and Maggie on occasion because you hear us calling each other by name.

  You can mostly count to ten by yourself.  I usually have to give you four and seven, but other than that you can do it all on your own!  Maybe numbers will be your thing, just like your Daddy.  If I say a letter, you usually respond by saying the letter that comes next in the alphabet, but we’ve not made much progress on your ‘abc’s’.

 

  You still love to play with your babies, and you love to diaper them.  Anytime you see a used diaper you say, “Oooohh Weee!  Yuuucckkkyyy!  Peeee UUUUU!”  You also still love to read books, and now you have several of them memorized enough that you tell me what each page is about.

  You pretend to sing the songs that Daddy and I sing you, which is adorable.  You sing ‘Jesus Loves Me' or ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It’ to Naomi all the time.  Speaking of Naomi, you loooovvvee her.  When she cries you say, “Naomi sad.  It’s ok, Naomi.”  You worry about her when you think she’s upset, and you always want to know where she is.  She loves you too, of course.  She smiles at you any time you try to entertain her.

 

It’s so much fun to watch you learn.  It seems like you remember everything you see, it’s incredible to see how quickly you pick things up.  You’re starting to look like a little girl, slowly losing your baby-ness.  It makes me sad, but also makes me so excited to see who you will be at two, and three, and four… 

 

I love you, you are so sweet. 

But right now you want me to put some clothes on your baby doll, so I suppose I should go.

 

Love you, love you, love you,

                                   Mommy

Faux-cation Part 1.

Brian is switching jobs (starting the new one as of Monday) and he took this week off in between employers for a little family time.  While we are seriously lacking any funds to do a ‘real vacation’ this week, we were determined to make it a fun week anyway!

We spent the first half of the week in my hometown, having fun with Nana and Grandpa and going to fun places created for frugal, penny pinching folks like us.

P.S. I decided to do this post in two parts because I knew I’d have a bajillion pictures that I’d want to post.  So if you’re not a Popp or a Reed, you’ll probably be insanely bored about half way through this post.  You’ve been warned.

 

Nana and her babies.

 

A bath time pic.  Just cause it’s cute.

 

 

Collecting rocks with Grandpa.

 

Sylvia, obviously thrilled about our quality time.  I see the teen years written all over that face.

 

Lots of trips to the park.  Lots of swinging.

 

 

Nature walks full of discovery.

 

Our monkey on a trip to the Zoo.

 

Riding on the train at the Zoo.  Very exciting.

 

On the Carousel!

 

We ate lots of ice cream on our trip.

 

Anytime Naomi cries Sylvie says, “Naomi sad.”  Naomi’s sad?  Here, have a thumb to suck on.

 

This week’s been a blast so far.  More to come!