October 2, 2012

Honestly weary, but still singing.

Oh my.  What a week. What’s that you say?  It’s only Tuesday?  Yes, yes, this candy bar in my hand is helping me process that.


Sunday afternoon my eldest was not quite acting like herself.  She was super crabby, and she actually chose to take a nap over helping clean up the playroom.  (And she’s actually usually quite helpful.)

This is the part where I should have said to myself, “Hey Maggie, maybe Bella is sick?”  But instead I chose the higher road, and said to myself, “Grumble, grumble, kids refusing to help pick up any messes, grumble grumble, what do they think I do all day, grumble grumble.”

Cause, you know, I want to teach my kids to be Christ-like.


Anyway, she got up from her nap, and sure enough, her temperature was 101.7.  Because of her disease, any time that she has a fever over 101.4 we have to be to the Emergency Room within 45 minutes.

So that’s where we went.

We got to the E.R. and they poked and prodded Ms. Bella and ran about 30 different tests.  They told us the workup, recommended a strong antibiotic, and told us that we needed to check in with the HemOnc unit first thing in the morning.

We got home at 11:30, wiped out.

The next morning I checked in with HemOnc – they said not to do the antibiotic just yet, and just to let them know if anything changed.  Bella slept in, so I snuck up to her room a few times that morning to check her temp, and it was holding right about 101. 


As soon as Bella got up, she complained of her neck hurting.  I took a look, and her entire neck, jaw, and ear area was swollen and she immediately started dry heaving.

This is when I start to panic.  These things aren’t the end of the world with an otherwise healthy kid – but with Bella’s disease everything is a big deal.  I called and of course they wanted us in the E.R. as soon as we could get there.

We went to the E.R. where they ran about 30 new and different tests and poked and prodded lots more.



Can you see her behind that belly?  Just barely?


In the end, they ruled out just about every possible thing other than a virus, which is what they have to do with her, prescribed us an antibiotic just in case, and told us to follow up with HemOnc today.  Somewhere in there I called in to participate in her case-plan meeting.

That was a long two days.

Very long.  And I was worried about my girl.


Also, it was the day of the girls’ visit with Mom. When I called the caseworker and let her know Bella was still sick, she said they would pick up Tootaw and just leave Bella here.

Which made me furious.

But, with us ending up at the hospital, it actually ended up being a good thing. I think Tootaw was too confused to be overly traumatized by the whole thing, and Bella was distracted enough that she didn’t even remember that she was not at a visit.


It was such a blessing to see how God provided through it though.  Brian’s cousins took dinner to our kids while we weren’t there and our friend Chris (who the girls now lovingly refer to as Grandma Chris) came and stayed with the little girls so I could be at the hospital, and Brian could take care of everything else. 

Our daughter is on the mend.  She has been well taken care of. 

He is our provider, and He is just so faithful.



With all that said, I am feeling weary.

The last two and a half weeks have included Tootaw and Sylvia being sick with fevers, Naomi ending up in the hospital for some unknown medical problems, the hearing, the girls’ first visit back with Mom, Bella being in the hospital for two days, a case plan meeting, and two children who haven’t been sleeping.  Amidst caring for our four kids, ushering in 3rd trimester, and general life, this has left us with a worn out Mama.  That’s just honesty.


But I also know that things will improve, they will not always be this crazy.  And I am so thankful for the ways that God has provided through it all, worked through it all, and given us strength.


The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.


  1. You not only have such a beautiful face, you have such a beautiful heart and soul.

  2. . . . Bless the Lord, oh my soul, oh my soul. Worship His holy name. Sing like never before, oh my soul. I'll worship His holy name. I'll worship His holy name!

    Praying for rest and peace for all of you--especially for you.

  3. Bless the Lord, oh my soul...and bless your heart! That's what us MS people say when things are too crazy for us to think of anything else to say. ;)

    I'll pray for energy for you to make it through the rest of the week a little less weary.

  4. what a crazy couple of weeks. hope you get some sleep and that everyone gets well/stays well for a LONG time :)


Thanks for commenting!!


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