Only by request....

At the request of my Edwardsville girls....I will post belly pictures.  Only for you would I make a pictoral history of myself going from small, to immense.  Love you girls.

 

                             Just under 12 weeks....the teeniest of pooches.

Just under 15 weeks....definitely growing.

To be honest...it took the better part of my first trimester to get used to the idea of being pregnant.  It might have had something to do with the fact that I didn't feel normal for 11 or 12 weeks....But now I love it.  I could do 15 weeks pregnant forever.  It's really incredible knowing that God is forming a baby inside of me, and that he is placing a soul in that little body that he already knows.  We have another appointment this week, and in just over 4 weeks we will almost definitely be finding out if we're having a little boy or a little girl.  Very, very excited.  I definitely feel like my belly is a little on the large side for 15 weeks - but I guess it could just be my build.  Last night I had a dream that my stomach got so huge it exploded.  It was painful.  I'm really kind of aiming for like....labor at 37 weeks with a baby just over six pounds.  That would be fabulous.

In other news, the girls are doing great!  Cassandra only has about a month and a half of school left.  I'm feeling a little bit timid about having both the girls home all day every day.  Mena is growing like crazy, and her personality (attitude?) is showing more all the time.  She is going to be a VERY strong willed child.  She tries to copy most of what we say, and now prefers to run instead of walk.  She's exhausting, but a ton of fun....most of the time.  :)  The temper tantrums I could do without...but we're working through that.  

Brian and I just found out that their case is essentially making no progress, and that there is still no timeline.  This is incredibly frustrating.  The girls need permanency.  Cassandra has started calling me mommy - and Mena doesn't know anyone but us as her parents.  They are not helping these girls.  It sounds like there is a possibility that they could still be with us when the baby comes.  (Insert prayer here.  LOTS of prayer.)  Needless to say I'm a little stressed out at this notion.  I've already told my mom that she may just need to get a Kansas drivers license....cause she could be here a while.  

On a much more relaxed note, we are leaving in 5 days with the girls to go to Hawaii for a week!!!!!   SO EXCITED!  Cassandra has a count down going on her chalk board and talks about it non stop.  She's a little concerned that there are sharks....but other than that really looking forward to the trip.  I can't wait for her to get to see everything.  She will never have another opportunity like this.  And a couple days on the sand could be nothing but good for this ever-growing mama too.

Anyway...just wanted to give a little update, since I've been horrible at that as of late.  There will of course be Hawaii pictures of our two beauties surrounded by flowers and sand.  :)  

P.S.  Prayer would be GREATLY appreciated for the girls case plan.  Prayer that there is progress and, finally, some closure for these girls.  Also that Brian and I would trust in the Lord regardless of what happens, and that we would be given strength in what may be more difficult times than anticipated.  Thanks so much.

Are you sure that test is error proof?

Well, since I'm pretty sure that most people have been called, or will soon be told by someone else, I thought we'd make an announcement....

We're pregnant!  I'm about 9 weeks along, and due sometime around October 1st.  Brian and I have already been to my first appointment where we got to see the baby, and we even got to see the heartbeat!   It was a little bit of an 'oh my goodness!' moment, as prior to that it hardly seemed real.  Of course, it very real now in the form of nausea and exhaustion.  The nausea seems to be getting better already, though, after only two weeks of being sick, so I feel very blessed.  Pretty soon we'll have a baby Popp...I'm sure there will be more updates between now and then...

A Preview of Goodbye

Tonight, Mena is spending the night somewhere else.  So is Cassandra, but she's done this several times, and she's older.  This will be Mena's first time in the over five months that she has been with us.  They are going to spend the night with their siblings at their foster home.  It is a great opportunity, because the family is interested in adopting all four of them and it gives the girls time to get to know them.  But there have definitely been mixed feelings about Mena being away.  Not being taken care of by me, or Brian, or my mom, or anyone really familiar.
This of course has led me to think about the time when they leave.  This is, I'm sure, just a fraction of what I will feel when they go.  After being their parents for - who knows how long at that point - trusting someone else to care for them completely.  To know that Mena won't eat green beans unless they're warm, but not hot.  That when Cassandra says see (si) she really means 'if'.  That Mena always cries at night, but that if you go back in the room you'll just make it worse.  I'm sure that their adoptive parents will figure all of this out, but it is still difficult.  It is the transition for the girls, the time it will take for the new family to know these special things about them, that makes my heart cringe.
The worst thing, though, that really brings me to tears, is the thought of Mena thinking I have left her.  It makes me nervous about this weekend, and makes me hurt for when they leave.  We can explain the move to Cassandra, and she will understand enough to know that we love her and always will.  There is no way to tell Mena.  I will be there one day, and the next she will be somewhere new, and there will be no way to explain to her that it is because I love her that she is going.  It breaks my heart.
However, as I think about all of this, it is a wonderful reminder that these children are not mine.  Not in the sense that I am not their biological parent, or in the sense that fostering is temporary.  These children are not mine, or their parents', or their adoptive family's - they are God's.  And I will let go with the knowledge that He has them in palm of His hand.  Only He holds their future.  In my knowledge of Him, I will trust that there is no greater security.

Never a dull moment here - the girls make sure of that!
Mena is walking all over the place now.  She took off full speed about three weeks ago and hasn't stopped since.  She's into everything, and it's rare that anything is where is should be, because she seems to have her own places for things.  She's started communicating quite a bit more too.  She can tell me when she wants up (Pup!), when she is hungry (nomnom!), and she has absolutely perfected letting me know when she is not happy.  She's become quite the drama queen, and throws fits when things aren't just so.  I feel like this is a challenging stage mostly because I can tell she knows when she is doing something she shouldn't be, but there doesn't seem to be any way for me to discipline that at this point.  Which mostly leads to me pulling my hair out on the 500th, "No, no, Mena."  and feeling completely ineffective.  She is a joy when she is happy though, with big smiles and giggles.
Cassandra is doing really well, also.  She is now completely caught up to her class in reading, and is on the higher end of where they ask that she be.  This is really exciting.  She's enjoying reading more now that she is doing so well, and I love that she is starting to like reading.  I'm finding that Cassandra also seems to be ahead in her social skills - I thought that pre-teenhood didn't start until 12 or so - but apparently seven is close enough.  We get lots of eye rolls, and stomping off to her bedroom - it's the cuddles in between that remind me that she's still just a little girl.
As far as how long the girls will be with us........at this point I'm going to say that your guess is as good as mine.  There have been more issues involving the Mexican Consulate that are far over my head, and it doesn't sound like anyone's in a hurry.  Frustrating, but we're dealing with the state here, probably could have been expected.  My generic answer when people ask how much longer has been, "A couple months..." but I think people have started to get suspicious, since I've been saying that since November.  All in God's time I suppose.

Anyway, just wanted to give a quick update on the girls, since I've been AWFUL about posting.  Hope all is well!

Espanol

I'm learning Spanish right now - something I've wanted to do for a long time. I've also been more motivated now that we will probably be getting a lot of Hispanic kiddos in our home. I've ordered a program called "Rocket Spanish" to help me learn, and have been using the very few free helpers on the internet. Although I have definitely made progress, I'm feeling pretty frustrated at this point.
Anybody have any pointers??

Baby Steps

So we had a big moment yesterday, Mena took her first steps! Enjoy the little video below. Camerawork compliments of Cassandra. We were so excited we all took a celebratory trip to...McDonalds.



And an oldie but a goodie (taken a couple months ago, but trapped on the camera until now. Yes, that's right, this is never-before-seen footage):

Marriage at Its Best

...not that we haven't had our hiccups, or that we're particularly good at this - just to say that marriage, this marriage that God has blessed us with, is fabulous.  Today is our second anniversary and it's been a great journey so far.  We have grown so much, and changed so much in the last two years through all of our transitions.  We graduated from college, moved to Kansas City, started our first jobs, bought our first car, bought and moved into our first house, became members at Covenant Chapel, became licensed foster parents, I quit my job, and are now the parents of two beautiful girls.  No wonder it's gone by so fast!  I can't wait to see what God has in store for us for the next year.  I thank Him everyday (though not as much as I should) for the blessing that Brian has been in my life.

And to Brian,  thank you for being an amazing example of a Godly husband.  Thank you for making me take time to look at the sky, for being my optimist at the end of the day, and for leading our family to know God more.  I love you.        more.