February 26, 2011

The Inbetween.

I’m pretty sure I’ve linked this blog before.  And if I haven’t, it is sorely overdue.  It’s full of honest reflections of a family that up and moved to Haiti to serve Jesus. 

Anyway, she recently posted this quote, which spoke to me exactly where we are.  It also has such application to the journey of foster parenting, for my foster parent blog friends.  Always Inbetween.

There's a place between here and there.  A piece of ground in the middle of take-off and landing.  A section of the unknown within beginning and ending.  You probably find yourself there from time to time.  It's the land known as Inbetween.

Inbetween is one of the most rugged places in life.  You aren't fully here, and you aren't fully there.  Your emotions and hopes are strewn across an endless list of possibilities.  Door knobs of wood, brass, and silver line the path, but which will open?  In the land of Inbetween, the paths are lined with sealed envelopes and foggy dreams.  Excitement runs forward and fears hold back.  And if you stay long enough, you feel the tremors of  your soul.

The land of Inbetween is downright scary.  It's a place of blind trust.  It's where the pedals of faith meet the narrow road of fortitude and where movement is demanded though there's no place to go.  The worst part of this land isn't the uncertainty or frustration that accompany it - it's that God likes it when you're there.

While He's no sadist, God loves the land of Inbetween.  He loves what it does to us.  He loves the humility and dependence it creates in our hearts, so He creates innumerable forks in life's road that swerve us into the land of Inbetween.  The unknowns of job, marriage, children, and home are the signs of this uncertain land.  At times, people are thrust into Inbetween by mishaps, accidents, sudden deaths, and even unexpected fortune.  Some people visit so many times they begin to wonder if it's life.  And they aren't far off.

So what will hold you steady when you walk through the terrain of Inbetween?  A recognition that Inbetween is God's design.  In one miraculous moment, the Creator of the universe placed you in the greatest Inbetween of all time - the place between the earthly creation and eternity.  Life's smaller lunges forward and backward are merely postcard reminders that there's something greater than this place we're visiting.

If you're in your own land of Inbetween, remember that God was the original designer of this journey.  You can get mad, scream, and even pout if you want. But it doesn't change the fact that you're merely passing through.  Everything else is Inbetween.  (from Deeper Walk, a Relevant Devotional Series)


  This is such a good reminder that this longing that I feel in my soul while we are preparing, waiting, planning, mapping, trusting, is only a picture of my soul’s real longing.  A longing to get where we’re really headed.  A longing to be home and done and settled.  A longing to know that where I am is where I will be.

  A picture comes to mind of Fred Flinstone.  (Of course, the me version of Fred is well, uh, less Fred-ish.  And less covered in animal skins.)  My feet are moving.  Very quickly.  The dust is gathering behind me.  Eventually my feet will hit the ground, and we’ll be moving.  I guess this revving up of sorts is just as important as the moment our feet hit the ground.  (Although, I don’t envision myself yelling Yabadabadoo.) 

  (Come to think of it, lets forget about the Fred Flinstone thing.  It’s the baby brain I tell you.)


  Anyway.  This was refreshing for my soul.  We are inbetween, but we won’t be forever.  And God is using this time just as much as he will use our time in our perceived destination.  And it’s only when we get to our real destination that we will truly be out of The Inbetween.

February 22, 2011

Random. Very.

My thoughts are completely scrambled right now.  Perfect time to write a blog post, yeah?  Stream of consciousness…..GO:


  We are steadily working toward Africa, and working with Samaritan Village from here as we go.  Right now this mostly looks like getting our house ready to sell and trying to get it on the market for some short period of time before the baby gets here.  After that I figure it will be  a couple months (or years.  seriously.)  before I can keep the house remotely clean enough for showings.

  We’re having a bathroom put in – which became an obviously mandatory step in selling our house.  It should be done mid-March and then we’ll list the house for a month or so.  We’ll call our agent when I go into labor to let him know to pull the house.  Not really – we’ll pull it before then, but every second counts, right?

  So we are moving steadily.  Slowly, but steadily.  Which is a good thing.  Have I mentioned that God has given me the heart of a doer?  When I’m passionate about something, I have enough get up and go to force a freight train into motion.  God is teaching me about waiting and patience.  This is a good lesson for me.



  It’s very easy for me to get discouraged and down (i.e. overly emotional) when we run into speed bumps with Samaritan Village.  It actually just occurred to me that it could have something to do with pregnancy hormones.  I like to act like they don’t exist, but evidence definitely leans to the contrary.  Post pregnancy I get reallly whacked out on hormones, so it’s not likely to get better any time soon.  Of course post pregnancy I’m a much more ‘random happy tears’ version of myself – which usually can only be a good thing.

  God is teaching me a lot about the difference between finding my peace in my emotions vs. finding my peace in Him.  He’s much more stable.  Definitely the way to go.


  God has been faithful to continue to smooth said speed bumps and open doors for our work with Samaritan Village.  Brian is working diligently right now on the organization’s structure to prepare if for growth and better efficiency.  He insists I’m needed in this – something about balancing him out – but he has a great business mind (bragging on my husband.  that’s allowed.)  and right now I’m mostly just cheering him on.  I feel like I will be of most use once we get to Africa.

  Which is another thing God is teaching me.  I am a micro-level person.  I am very hands on.  I am a social worker through and through.  I cannot wait to get to Arusha and wrap my arms around those kiddos.


  God is teaching me so much through this journey.  SO much.  Unfortunately I have baby brain to the max, and I cannot verbalize or put into text anything that flows for more than two paragraphs.  I’ll try to do a better job in the future though.  Till then, God is good.  All the time.

February 15, 2011

PoppSecret #2

  I can’t claim the fame on that name. (Whoah.  Just call me Dr. Seuss.)  Our friend Matt called Sylvie PoppSecret before she was born (since we don’t share names prior to the big introduction) and it stuck.

  Anyway, so I’m on my way to being 31 weeks pregnant.  I’m really not sure how that happened – this pregnancy has flown.  I hear it’s because of Sylvia, but we had kids 6 out of the 9 months of my last pregnancy and it didn’t go this fast!  The belly is definitely making it’s presence known in the way of running into unsuspecting passers by who underestimate it’s giganticness (probably not a word.) and by moving around violently like someone inside is doing the cha-cha.  I thought Sylvie was active in utero – but this child’s got her beat for sure.

We could be in trouble folks.


Not feeling gigantic, just, you know, 30 weeks pregnant.  After looking at comparison pics from the last pregnancy, I don’t feel too off the charts.  We’ll see, I have an appointment with my midwife on Friday where I will hopefully be told that the baby is petite like her mama.


Giving the baby kisses.

Sylvia points at my belly all the time and says, “baby?”  Of course, she also points to her own belly all the time and says the same thing.  She might be confused.  We’ve been reading lots of books about babies and talking about her baby sister, but I’m pretty sure she’s got no clue what’s coming.









  After some of our good friends had a very scary experience with their little girl, Sylvie’s BF, this weekend – I spent Valentines Day so incredibly thankful for the loves that I’ve been blessed with.  It always sounds so cliché to talk about how things can change so quickly, but I will treasure every second.  Husbands don’t come any more valiantly on white horses than mine, and motherhood has been, by far, the greatest blessing in my life.

  Being a parent, the joy in it, is beyond my explanation.  Before Sylvie was born, my brother said, “It’s kind of like this huge party that you’ve always heard about, but have never been invited to.  And then you become a parent and you’re like, ‘holy cow, no wonder everyone shows up!’”  It’s like this secret that you can’t know until you find yourself holding your child – however they may come to you – and you think, how could I have not known this love before?  Incredible.


  Little baby in my belly, I cannot wait to meet you.  I cannot wait to see what changes you hold for our family.  I cannot wait to see what you look like.  Soon you will be here, and I will think, how could I have not known this love before?  We are anxiously anticipating your arrival.

                           Love you, love you, love you,


February 11, 2011

Paint? No EAT! Pt. 2

Sylvia and I recently had some fun with pudding.  It reminded me of almost exactly one year ago when I did the same thing with X-Man.  Still miss him, still think about him, still pray for him.



Sylvia agreed with X-man – eating the pudding is much more fun than playing in it.  I tried to smoosh her hands in it just like I did with him.  “See, look!  It’s so much fun to make a mess in the pudding!!”  But Sylvie was not so much into the painting aspect of this craft.



Nom-nom. Instead she just licked it straight off the table.  Who needs spoons??IMG_0611

Once she couldn’t get any more up, she grabbed my hand and used it as a squeegee and then licked it off to get the rest.  She’s resourceful. 

“Mom, you wanted me to waste all this goodness on finger painting?  Have you tasted this???”










(Yes.  That is another shiner on her right eye.  That would make for number 4.  If she just didn’t run so much – and in circles to boot!)

February 7, 2011

Snow Fun!

(Also commonly referred to as ‘lots of pictures of Sylvia’.)

Sylvia is obsessed with her baby dolls right now.  It’s really, very cute.  She rocks the babies, sings to the babies, kisses the babies, drops the babies, snuggles with the babies…  She loves laying down and pretending to go night-night with them too.

I’m sure it’s shocking to find we’ve had snow.  Lots.  Sylvia LOVES the snow and is very, very upset when we make her come inside.

Daddy ran her up and down the street in the snow-wagon, and she thought it was the best thing in the entire universe.

Second best thing in the entire universe?  Snow ice-cream.

She also really loves to “help” me with stuff around the house.  Like folding laundry.  (AKA: wait for mommy to get it folded, and then quickly unfold as much of it as you can.  Then, try to put on as many articles of clothing as you can before mommy has a chance to take them away.)
P.S.  See the nice shiner under her eye?  She’s had no fewer than 3 shiners in her 15 months.  Active child?  Yes.

Belly/Baby post to come soon!  Sorry for those who have requested and been left waiting.  It’s really gotten much bigger.  (The belly, that is.)

February 4, 2011


I just heard this song today for the first time, and thought that it was fitting for the post yesterday.  Cool video too.

February 2, 2011

Just one.

  Since starting this journey toward Africa (eventually we’ll be able to say ‘in Africa’!!)  I have heard several times, “Well, you can’t save them all.”


Oh goodness.  Don’t get me started.  But you already have.

Of all the reasons various people may think we shouldn’t go, please, please don’t use this one.


When did just one become so insignificant to us?  I know that we can’t save them all.  (In fact, I know that we can’t save any children at all – we’ll leave that one to the Big Guy.)  I am aware of the vastness of the problem, and it’s one of the very reasons that we are going. 

When we hear that nearly 30,000 children will die from preventable causes before we lay our heads on our pillows tonight, it seems like too much.  If you live in a large town – really anything short of a city – it is like waking up tomorrow morning to find that all of the children in your town are dead.  And that they all died of something that could have been prevented. 

If that happened, we would expect it to be international news.  For weeks.  We would expect someone to look into the matter until it had been solved.  Until we had answers.  Until we knew it wouldn’t happen again.

But it will happen today.  And it will happen again tomorrow.  And NBC, CNN, and FOX will find better things to report on.  Yet I keep hearing,

“You know, you can’t save them all.”


I sure am glad I’m on this side of the equation.  Because if it were me, if I were living in a third world country and had no means to support my family, no clean water to give my children – If it were me, and I was sitting there rocking my Sylvia in my arms knowing that she was starving and there was nothing I could do about it,  I would be on my knees begging that someone would think it was worth it to save

just one.

That someone could see the beauty and worth, the woman that God created her to be, that I see when I look into her eyes.  When God looks into her eyes.

In eyes like


this, and

x-man in hat

this, and





And I praise God that we serve a savior that would do anything for just one.

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them.  Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?  And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home…..I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents  than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”


I am so thankful that I serve a God who finds it all worth it for  just one.


Related Posts with Thumbnails