April 6, 2012

Hope in something bigger.

We found out that a couple of relatives have come forward for the kids.  We knew this was a possibility, but frankly, it just didn’t seem likely.


We are disappointed to say the least.  Frustrated.  Hurting, to be honest.  We have spent every free moment for the last month picturing life with six kids.  Figuring out room arrangements.  Test driving vehicles.  Figuring out vacation plans for the summer.  Preparing our hearts to have six children.


Of course, we are praying for and ultimately hoping for whatever is in the best interest of the kids.


Initially, it was hard not to be angry.  Still, that would be the easy response.  Why would God present this opportunity only for it to fall through?  Why can’t something just work out?  What does this mean?  What next?


But I was reading this morning and was reminded that God does not dangle good things in front of us just to criticize us for wanting it, and then to take it away as some kind of discipline.  This was not in any way, just a tease.

I choose to trust in knowing that he never tells us ‘no’ out of spite or malice, He tells me no only in love, for my best interest, and for His glory.  He tells me ‘no’ because He knows me better than any other, and only He knows what is truly best for me.  He tells me ‘no’ because he has something else in mind that I am too short-sighted to see.


I also rest in knowing that I don’t have to figure out ‘what this means’.  Because, quite simply, it just means that he is saying, “not right now, not this, something else.”

I follow Him through disappointment because He is the only one who knows what is on the other side.


I am also aware that it is our hearts and our obedience that God wants, not an outcome and not ‘success’.  Whatever I view as the ‘end’ is skewed unless it is simply following Jesus faithfully.  HE is the end.  And he asks me to follow Him through a journey, not to a destination.


It is still possible that the kids end up with us if the relatives don’t pan out (like the last three didn’t).  I don’t know, we’ll see.  I pray that whatever is in their best interest is what happens, whether that includes us or not.


More learning.  More refining.

I will wait on Him. 

I will find peace in His will.


  1. Willingness. That may have been all He is asking of you right now. I have been there. It IS disappointing when you reach that point of complete surrender and peace to something that makes no worldly sense, only to have it fall through. Confusing too. I am sorry. I love your faith and LOVE this post. I agree with everything you have said and needed this reminder today in my own walk. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Oh my heart hurts for you. The unknowns and ups and downs of fostering and adopting can be discouraging (as you know better than me!), but you are choosing to persevere, follow God through it, and wait on him... and that encourages me. I am bookmarking this post to remind myself of these things later!

  3. we have been through several HUGE disappointments ever since starting foster care...some with kids we were/are in love with and some in our jobs...just LOTS of disappointments and lots of God saying "not this".

    I know how you feel, and God is good because He knows.

  4. Maggie,
    Sorry to hear this. We will be praying for you for sure as you keep trusting Jesus and seeking His will. Thanks for your mature perspective as you put God's desires and plans and purposes above your own. You have such a tender heart. I can see Jesus in you!

  5. So sorry. That is so sad to have it right in front of you and not work out.

  6. Your submission to God's will is inspiring. Perhaps He is preparing you for another large sibling group ? ? ?

  7. Beautifully put, your heart is admirable to say the least. Your family is in my prayers.

  8. "Whatever I view as the ‘end’ is skewed unless it is simply following Jesus faithfully. HE is the end. And he asks me to follow Him through a journey, not to a destination."

    I love this. I love it because it applies to anyone's "situation" & because it is so very true. Blessings to you & your family.


Thanks for commenting!!


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