But you know, how surprised can you really be? Everyone likes to remind us that we shouldn’t really be surprised. Touché. It’s just not exactly what we were expecting.
But we are. Expecting, that is. As of Wednesday, I started my 12th week of pregnancy number three. (That means less than a week left of the first trimester – thank you Lord!!)
This is not what we had planned, although I know that this little baby growing inside of me was in fact planned and is coming to us with another whole story to tell, with their own big purpose.
If you don’t believe me that this wasn’t on my schedule – the proof lies in my due date. January 2nd. Ok, if there were any day of the year I would pick not to give birth? New years. If there were any time of the year I would not choose to give birth? Christmas season. Nope, God had this one up his sleeve – but we feel so blessed.
I have felt very different this pregnancy than I did with either of the girls. I have been MUCH more sick (although the nausea and exhaustion are waning!!!), feel much more hormonal, and just feel different in general. Boy? Maybe. Or maybe I’m just pregnant with three children 4 and under, thereby increasing my exhaustion, exemplifying my nausea, and wearing at my hormonal lack of patience.
Time will tell.
I’m not sure how much time. We’re not sure if we’ll find out the sex this time. Although I said that with Naomi. And I caved in the ultrasound office. Part of me says that if it is a boy, I might like some mental prep time – ya know, since we’ve got three girls with a probable fourth moving in soon. Brian wants to find out. I say the odds are about 60/40. 60% chance we’ll find out. 40% chance that maybe, maybe we won’t find out.
I am so excited that my midwife who attended Naomi’s birth is who I am seeing this time too. We are planning for a home birth this time around and I am super excited about it. PoppSecret #3 is on (his?)(her) their way!!
Little, little baby, (although you’re already 2 1/2 inches long!) I am beyond excited to meet you. I can’t wait to kiss your little fingers and smell your scent. Your sisters are very excited about you too. Sylvia wants you to be a boy. Bella wants you to be a girl. Naomi doesn’t care (I don’t think?). I just want you healthy and in my arms. Things are pretty crazy out here – we’re bringing you into a house of straight chaos. I’m sure you’ll quickly catch on and add to the craziness.
When you get here, you might have four sisters, or you might have two – but you can be sure that you’ll be loved. Soon I’ll start to feel you move, and we’ll start getting to know one another, long before you make your appearance. Know that I already love you, and I will always love you. I am already praying for you, and I cannot wait to meet you and get to know the little personality that God is forming as we speak. I am so excited to be your Mama.
Love you, love you, love you,