May 28, 2010

Flying pigs and all that Jazz

Ahhhh, updates.  They always seem so lame, but necessary.  Half of our family would think we had 10 kids if I didn't post about kids leaving every once in a while - and since I will most likely also have this printed for our bookshelf, staying current has its pros.

The girls ended up leaving on Wednesday night.  Court was Wednesday afternoon and they 'officially' came into the custody of the state.  They are from a town a couple of hours away from us, and the state wanted to find a long term foster home closer to their parents.  However, after three hours of looking for a home to no avail, they called us back and asked if we'd like to take them long term.  And, get. this. 
I said no.
What is that?  Applause I hear?  Yes, I know, I am very proud of myself too.  (Actually, Brian said no.  But I was standing there when he did it.  So it counts.)
They are just not a good fit with the boys.  Those girls are going to need a LOT of one on one care, and I couldn't give them what they need, while also giving the boys what they need, and Sylvia what she needs. 
It was heartbreaking, those two days they were here.  I could feel their fear, their heartache.  It really is a physical hurt to see that kind of suffering.  They were just hurting so badly.  That's when you wish you just had a magic wand to make it all better.  But all you can do is hold them and rock them.  Their reason for coming into care was drug use, but while they were here I saw more signs of sexual abuse than I needed to, which puts fury in my soul.  I pray those girls are in a loving foster home, and that God comforts their broken little hearts.

In other news, yesterday was the last day of school for the boys.  It was a half day, and I picked them up and took them to have a special lunch with Brian.  We went to chick-fil-a.  (I may or may not have made that suggestion).  We had a fun filled afternoon of appointments with their caseworker and therapist. 
Yes.  You heard me correctly, their caseworker actually came to our home to visit.  {And while she was here I could vaguely make out a small pink pig flying across the sky above my neighbor's house.}  Surprisingly enough, her visit was not at all informative, except to ask me if I thought there might be a couple of weekends open this summer for their siblings to visit. 
I'm actually really looking forward to this summer.  I'm looking forward to getting to spend more time with the boys.  I'm looking forward to getting to do fun summer activities with them and spending afternoons at the pool with Sylvie.  And I'm looking forward to not being boxed in by a schedule of pick ups, drop offs, homeworks, and bedtimes.  I've got some really fun stuff planned for the boys this summer too, and it will be fun to get to watch them experience what a childhood summer should look like.

Of course, you'll have to ask me two weeks from now if I'm still looking forward to the rest of the 2 1/2 months.  We shall see.


  1. I'm proud of you for saying "No" (especially from what you said in your last post.) It sounds like it will be best for everybody involved.

  2. I'm proud, too! I hope you have a wonderful summer with the boys and Sylvie! :)

  3. No is such a good word, great to hear that you were able to make the right choice for your family.

  4. Glad you said "no" too, it sounds like they do need some special care. Btw, your "no post" prompted me to post about house rules. I have a problem setting limits and figured I should have some written rules. Thanks for your inspiration to get me to finally do it!

    the post is here:

  5. Aren't you glad that you and Brian talked about the whole "No" situation before you were asked to take the girls? Goes to show that a good marriage is key to a good family!

    In our area there are special summer day camps for foster children. From what the worker said, if you're in need other agencies will even take foster children not fostered through them. If you get stir crazy with the boys check for some in your area.

    The first two weeks of summer are a hard transition, after that everyone gets comfortable in the new routine. Don't give up!

  6. you did it! you said no for all the right reasons :) but i kinda wish i was there to take care of the girls. they broke my heart.

  7. Saying no at the right time is a good thing:) You should be very proud that you said no in order to do what is best for your family!


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