Ok, so, the boys behavior continues to snowball.
In the last 24 hours I have heard:
- I don’t have to! It’s my choice and I can do what I want!
- You’re such a liar Maggie! You’re such a liar!
- B*$#&. (Yes, that’s the B word. Don’t appreciate that at all.)
- Shoes bouncing off walls and our bunk bed breaking.
- I hate living here!
- I hate you!
- Slamming doors. over. and over. and over.
- Whatever Maggie, I’m not even listening to you! (really? I couldn’t tell.)
I won’t go on – you get my drift. Once about 5:00 hits our house is filled with the lovely sounds of defiance. Just. straight. defiance.
They are angry about not being with their mom. They are sad. They have never had any supervision or authority figure at home. I’m fairly sure that they have picked up on the fact that mom does not seem to be making progress.
This all comes together to make two very angry, very confused, very defiant little boys.
We have behavior charts for them – clearly listing consequences for specific behaviors, with positive reinforcement for progress and good days. We have tried to be consistent with discipline. As of today they will no longer receive allowance just because. They will get stickers for good behavior, and each sticker will be redeemable for .25. We do not raise our voices, we never so much as touch their shoulder during discipline.
We are Love and Logic – ing our hearts out.
We are Shepherding our Children’s Hearts.
We are Connected Parenting.
But I can only be called a ‘B’ so many times before my eyes pop out of my head and roll around on the floor. Just lookin’ for a little respect. (Cue Aretha Franklin – I’m singing along.) It is true they have only been here for a month, but none of this seems effective.
We are running out of tools.
Suggestions are welcome. Actually I may kiss you if you leave a good idea.
Foster parents give me your wisdom!!!!
Update: Just got a call and mom won’t be at the visit tonight. This should make for a fun weekend.