We finally just got a call from the caseworker regarding yesterday’s hearing.
The conversation started like this:
Caseworker: Well, I have to call and tell you this, but you aren’t going to like it.
If that’s not a stellar set up, then I don’t know what is.
Essentially, this is what happened -
I guess in our state, the state has to file a “motion to sever parental rights” before the goal can officially be changed to adoption, or a TPR hearing can be set. (Different than the state I worked in.)
This motion was not filed prior to the hearing yesterday. I’m really trying not to feel frustrated (read: irate) about this, because I don’t even know who to be upset at. I’m not certain who’s responsibility it was to file it.
So the state is going to file the motion sometime in the next two weeks, with a new hearing set for October 18th. Prior to the hearing they will have a conference to determine whether or not enough “progress” has been made to keep them from setting a TPR hearing. (How could that be possible? What, so, in the next three weeks we’re going to obtain housing, clean UA’s, a job, therapy, etc.? I can’t imagine what “enough” is at this point.) If they can’t find valid progress, on October 18th they will set it out for a TPR hearing.
But here’s the kicker. The judge, in all his wisdom, after reading the court report at the start of the hearing, ordered that between now and October 18th that the girls have visits with Mom.
Did you miss that part about Bella throwing up 4 times a week while having visits?
And also did you miss that she has a potentially terminal illness that could be effected by that kind of stress on her body?
And that part that talked about how since visits have stopped completely that the girls’ health, behavior, stress and anxiety levels, and food issues have all vastly improved? What about that?
And I can’t figure out what in the world makes anyone think that Mom is going to be stable and actually stick around for long enough to accomplish anything. Did we forget that she just showed up out of nowhere after going missing for 6 months?
I know what this sounds like – and I am not that foster parent. Brian and I bent over backward for the better part of this case to support reunification – we were Mom and Dad’s biggest advocates, strongest cheerleaders.
But now you’re going to go and screw with my girls – further traumatize them – when it’s clear this case is going nowhere?
It’s not a good idea to piss a Mama off like that.
So for now, I will do the only thing that I can do, and that is to take it to Jesus. I know that in the end, he can work out all things for the good of those that love Him – and I am trusting, that eventually, in time, He will do the same here.
I will pray for my girls.
I will pray for the case.
I will continue to pray for their parents. For redemption in their lives and healing for their brokenness – just not while they are simultaneously further traumatizing their children. My children.
Lord, bring beauty from these ashes. Be glorified. Show us how to love well when it is so difficult to forgive and let go. You are here even when it all seems so broken – remind me of my brokenness so that I can love instead of judge, and forgive instead of harbor anger.
You are the loving redeemer. Redeem this, Lord. Redeem this.