Searching for the Light.

 

  After a few days of processing the status of the girls’ case,  this is what I have decided:

 

There is nothing I can do to change what the court has already ordered.

Jesus has a plan in this, and he will use it to glorify Himself and bring redemption if we make ourselves available – that is, if we choose to be obedient.

 

So, I am trying to remain open to opportunities that this may create that otherwise would not have been.

 

This will absolutely give us more opportunities to love on our girls, and to show them that we are here for them and are supporting them regardless of the chaos of their world.  It will possibly give opportunities for processing some difficult stuff before we have to discuss the big ‘A’* word with little souls that will struggle to understand.  (*adoption.)

 

It is possible that this could re-open doors for us to build a relationship with their mother – to learn her hurt, to know her needs, to show her love while we have the opportunity to.  But not to judge her or show anger toward her – although this is SO tempting.

 

Maybe this could end up providing the girls with some closure that they otherwise would not have had?  Maybe?

 

And *maybe* this will give us some time to feel out what kind of open adoption routes are actually feasible and healthy in the future.

 

 

And I am praying that God will work in ways through these challenges that I am not even able to foresee – ways that I can’t imagine – and that through all of this He will protect my girls’ hearts, minds, self-worth, innocence, purpose, and their willingness to be vulnerable.

 

He used what Jesus’ friends and followers saw as the end as the very beginning and to create hope that will never cease.  I believe He can use this in the same way.