So, Monday was my last day of working at the Children's Division.
For those of you who did not know I was quiting, I put in my notice two weeks ago. Brian and I decided that it would be much better for me to be home when we have a child placed with us. While I still have very mixed emotions about leaving - I really think that it will be for the best.
The closer we got to being licensed, the more my anxiety level rose regarding being able to do my job (well) and being able to be invested in the kids that come to stay with us (fully invested). I want to be a good foster mom, and I couldn't do that while working at my stressful, 55 hour per week job.
Trusting God is more real to me now than I think it has ever been. Trusting Him with every decision, financially, in becoming a mom, and that He will work through us to make some difference, however small. However, in the times that we are asked to trust in Him the most - I am the most at peace. Because through His grace and love for us - He always keeps his promises.
So now I'm off to the farmer's market instead of the Children's Division - and I'm pretty ok with that. Meanwhile, incessantly wondering, boy or girl? 1 yr. old, 4 yrs. old, 9 yrs. old? Physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect? race? personality? Who is it that He has intended for us, and how do we make the biggest difference, or even just a small one? He has me on pins and needles.