Dear Bella,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Almost without fail, when we have kids placed with us their birthday follows within a week.  It makes it difficult to plan much for a day that we want to be so full of joy for them. 

Bella had her birthday this week, and although we didn’t have much time to plan, she was clearly overjoyed at the celebration.

Since she hasn’t had time to make friends here yet, we went to our agency’s foster parent support meeting that night so that everyone could sing to her and make a big to do about her birthday.  She didn’t know quite what to do when everyone started singing, but she was so tickled.

Birthdays are hard for kids who are in foster care, and it was no different for Bella.  We tried calling her mom and dad several times that day and no one answered.  Bedtime was so difficult for her, I just laid with her until she fell asleep.  But even though it was hard, I think she’ll be able to look back at this birthday with some happy memories, knowing she was loved and celebrated even though she wasn’t home.

3 Months.

  That’s how long you’ve been here with us now, and I can no longer imagine life without you.  Although sometimes I do momentarily forget you’re there, because you’re such a content little baby.

 

 

  I spend all day every day with you, so generally, to me, you don’t seem particularly large or small, you’re just your size.  But when I see someone else holding you, I am reminded of what a tiny little baby you are.  You are tiny, with petite little features – I think you’ll be little like you’re Mama.

  Your eyes are still blue – and I really think they may stay that way.  You are beautiful with your dark hair and features and those blue eyes.  Makes me nervous for when you’re 16 and the boys start to notice how they stand out against your olive complexion. 

  You started doing all kinds of things this month (relative to what you could do before, of course).  You have started making lots of noises – and I’m not entirely sure you’re not going to be louder than your sister.  That’s a feat.  You should be proud.  You start making sounds and you get really excited and start making them as loud as you can.  Luckily, they are almost always happy sounds, and I love to hear them.

  You’ve also started laughing.  You are already very ticklish, and it’s so fun to make you giggle.  Nothing in this world brings me more joy than hearing you and your sister laugh.  Nothing.  You are a very content little baby and are happy almost all the time.

  Rolling over is your other new trick.  You have mastered it and are never on your belly for more than a few seconds now.  You can take as long as you want to start walking.  Really.  As long as you want.

 

  You looooovvvveee your sister.  Anytime she talks to you you smile.  She loves you too.  She loves to lay next to you and snuggle you – so much so that I usually upset her by making her stop.  This month a new sister joined our family, and you love her too.  She talks to you a lot and is a very good big sister.

 

  You’re little personality is starting to shine through and I love watching it.  I am trying my very, very hardest to soak you all the way up – but you are growing so fast!

 

Love you, love you, love you, love you, love you.

 

            Mama

Active and Loud.

 

That’s how I make them.  Active.  Loud.

Most of my friends who are fully seasoned in active kids, meet Sylvia and say,

    Holy. Cow.

And she’s as loud as she is active.

And I love it.

 

It seems her sister may be following in her small footsteps.  She’s under three months and already regularly rolling from belly to back in both directions, and as of today, she’s working on rolling from back to belly.  She’s in a hurry.

Sylvie took her first steps at 9 months.  I think it’s possible that Naomi may have her mind set to do the same.

 

 

 

 

Anyone who knows Sylvie, knows that she is loud. 

Well, Naomi has found her voice, and I think that she may rival her sister.  Luckily, she makes happy sounds about 98% of the time.

 

 

 

Should we be worried?

 

 

(P.S. How is there not a better version of this on You Tube?  Hillarious.)

Fresh Air Fund

  If you live in the North-East, here is a super cool opportunity to serve kids from New York City!  I totally wish that they had this program here, we’d be all over it!

  It’s called the Fresh Air Fund.

“THE FRESH AIR FUND, an independent, not-for-profit agency, has provided free summer vacations to more than 1.7 million New York City children from low-income communities since 1877. Nearly 10,000 New York City children enjoy free Fresh Air Fund programs annually. In 2010, close to 5,000 children visited volunteer host families in suburbs and small town communities across 13 states from Virginia to Maine and Canada. 3,000 children also attended five Fresh Air camps on a 2,300-acre site in Fishkill, New York. The Fund’s year-round camping program serves an additional 2,000 young people each year.”

The Fresh Air Fund is currently looking for 850 more host families for kids to stay with this summer.  The children stay in your home for two weeks at the most, and you help them to have experiences that they probably wouldn’t ever have growing up in the inner city. 

These are the areas where they are looking for host families.  Is this you?  Interested?  Check it out!

Her Own.

“There is an instinct in a woman to love

most her own child -

and an instinct to make any child

who needs her love, her own.”

                                            ~Robert Brault

Bella.

 

  Our newest addition, who I have settled on calling Bella, loves to play outside.  I think after being cooped up in the hospital for five days, she was going a bit stir crazy.  Every moment she is asking to go out.

  I think she spends a lot of time outside when she is at home, and so it makes her feel a little less homesick to be out there.  Her sickness also makes her get cold much easier than most, so I think the heat is a welcome reprieve from the air conditioning for her.

 

  So we’ve spent a lot of time at the park the last two days – which  doesn’t have Sylvia complaining either!

 

 

 

 

It seems like typically with kids we have had, with the honeymoon period comes a fake happiness, covering up what they are really feeling.  That hasn’t been true this time.  Bella is very sad and expresses her feelings pretty openly, which I can only think is good for her.

 

 

  I wish so badly that she could stay here.  We’ve always said that we would never ask a child to leave unless it wasn’t safe for them to be here, either for them or for other children in the home.  And really that’s the case here.  I am not capable of caring for her long term in the ways she needs while still providing everything that the other children in our home need.  I am hopeful that one of her relatives are able to take care of her where she will be comfortable and things would be familiar. 

 

 

  We went out yesterday and got a bunch of pretty new clothes for her and some flip flops, which are by far her favorite purchase.  She was excited to pick out a couple of new dresses.

  Bed time is the hardest time for her, and for now we have a toddler bed set up in our room so that she can be close to us.  Food will be a challenge.  The only things she asks for are Pepsi, Pop Tarts, and Frosted Flakes – and really mostly refuses any other food.  We got some Frosted Flakes, and I am trying to get some nutrition in her in other ways.  Feeding a suppressed immune system sugar will only hurt her little body, so we have to figure out other ways to get her the things her body needs.

 

  Please pray for her.

Between a Rock and a Ridiculously Hard Place.

 

  We had a little girl placed with us yesterday.  She’s 3, and she’s sweet, and she’s beautful, and she’s very, very sick.

 

  When intake called they told us that she was sick.  They also told us that she would have treatment at the hospital once every ten days.  They also told us that she only had treatment for another 2 months and then she was done.  They also told us she could start preschool in January.

 

  Well.  actually only one of these things they told us is correct, and that one thing is that she is sick. 

 

  We got to the hospital to pick her up and we spoke with the social worker and doctor for a few minutes.  They had already told her that she was going home with us.  We went in and met her and they started training us on how to care for her. 

  It wasn’t until the last few minutes of our meeting that they told us the reality of all this.  Things we hadn’t been told.

 

  So come to find out, she doesn’t just have treatment once every ten days.  She has to go to labs twice per week – which takes a few hours – and she has treatment every ten days – which takes several hours.  This all amounts to two to three days in the hospital every week.  Also, she has treatment for two more years, not months.

minor details.

 

  I’m not under the impression that this is our agency’s fault in any way –  I don’t think the hospital gave them the correct information, or all of the information.

 

  The problem lies in that what we thought we were saying yes to, and what we were really saying yes to are two completely different things.  I can be at the hospital one day every ten days, but with having other kids, I cannot be at the hospital two to three days per week.  I can’t expect Sylvie to sit in a waiting room for hours three days per week, I don’t have anywhere she can stay for that amount of time – and being away from the girls three out of five days won’t work.

 

  We’ve told the agency that this isn’t something we can do long term.  There are a few relatives that we’re hoping pan out in which case she could go there from our house.  Otherwise they will have to find another home for her.

 

  I hate that.  I hate this situation.  If we had only known to begin with, we would have known we weren’t a good match and we would have said no.  Now this poor baby girl who is already dealing with so, so much is going to have to move again.  I hate it.  It’s hard not to feel very frustrated.  I know that no one gave misinformation on purpose – but this is a big deal.  Let’s get it right.

 

  Please, please pray.  Pray for her health, pray for her heart, pray that one of her relatives comes through.