July 26, 2010

Daddy's View: A conversation with Jae

(just after we said our good night prayers, I realized I hadn't given Jae a hug, so I went back into his room to find him gently crying)
Brian: "Jae, I forgot to ask if you wanted a hug before you went to bed, do you want a hug?"
Jae: (sniffles a bit) "Brian, I have a question, tell me if this sounds fair: At camp I met a foster kid who has been away from his mom for seven years, even though his brother still lives with his mom.  How is that fair?
Brian: "I don't know Jae"
Jae: "And now he says he gets to go back to his mother.  He's so lucky."

Jae: "Brian, I have a question: who invented foster care?"
Brian: "I don't know Jae.  It was created to keep kids safe though"
Jae: "I hate that person.   I wish it didn't exist to I could be with my mother."
Brian: "Jae, I wish foster care didn't have to exist either."
Jae: "I don't even know why I'm in foster care, it's so confusing.  Do you know why I'm here?"
Brian: "Because it wasn't safe for you to be at your house anymore, Jae."
Jae: "But I felt safe, who says it's not safe?"
Brian: "The people who's job it is to keep you safe."
Jae: "You don't even know how hard it is for me right now.
(eyes well up again)
I'm scared.  I could be adopted by somebody I don't even know.  What if I don't like them?"
Brian: "Jae, when you moved here you didn't know me and Maggie, right?"
Jae: "Yeah, but I've been here for three months now."
Brian: "But now you know us and love us and know that you are loved here.  Whoever adopts you will love you too."
Jae: "I just want to be adopted by my family."
Brian: (now I'm crying too) "Jae, I cry for you guys all the time.  I wish I could just make it go away, make it all go away and just be normal, but I can't.  All I can do is love you, and try to make you understand that God loves you, and that he has a plan for you."
Jae: "God doesn't have a plan for me."
Brian: "Yes he does Jae, he will use you for great things if you let him.

I love you  Jae.  Good night."


  1. ugh, it rips your heart out. Praying for a wonderful adoptive family for him.

    He did such a great job vocalizing his concerns and frustrations.

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  3. This is what is so sad. These children do not even know they are in danger they just think foster care and the system is keeping them from their families even though we are all just trying to keep them safe. Which is what their parents were supposed to be doing.

  4. (crying too)...I love these boys. They are so precious!

  5. that makes my heart so sad, but it is wonderful that God gave him someone to tell him, "Yes, God does have a plan for you."

    it is so hard when they are old enough to know they love their family and it is really interesting to hear him say he felt safe, i bet a lot of kids would say that.

  6. Heartbreaking. I'm glad he was able to express his feelings and that Brian was there to listen to him.

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  8. OMG, I'm in tears. His heart is just aching for a normal life.


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