July 14, 2010

Where We’re At.

We are here:

  • Still praying over and discussing the possibility of the boys’ siblings moving in.  Trying to consider all of the factors, which would be a whole different post.
  • If we decide that we do not feel we can take their siblings, the caseworker wants to look for another home, closer to where the boys are from, that can take all four kids.
  • If we cannot take their siblings, they want to move the boys before the beginning of the school year.
  • If we do take their siblings, we are, in essence, adopting them. (Hence this being such a huge decision.)  Unless by some chance they quickly find an adoptive home for an older sibling set of four (unlikely) then they would be with us for a long time.  If they are with us for a long time – adoption just makes sense.
  • We feel like we could do it.  We just aren’t sure it is best for all of the kids.
  • Maybe I will try to write a post explaining our thinking and reasoning thus far.  But it would take forever, and I’m not sure it would make any sense to anyone but me, so we’ll see.


All of this brings me to tears. 

Contrary to what one may think, deciding that we will take their siblings would be the easier choice for us to make.  We don’t want the boys to have to move, we want them all to be together, we want to be able to serve them in every way possible.  It would be much, much harder for us to decide that we cannot do it – but we also want to be responsible in this decision – and in the end it may not be best.


Prayers for discernment and for the kids’ hearts is so appreciated.  I wish all this were easier.


  1. I can so relate to your dilemma. Such a HUGE decision! Prayers for you.

  2. What a big decision! Prayers for answers for your family. (the boys are so cute btw:)

  3. May you be at peace with whatever choice you make.

  4. Wow...we are in the EXACT same spot. Wanting to adopt our sweet girls, but no entirely sure if it is best for them. They've been in so many homes and we don't want them to move again, but we (my parents) are still not recieving 100% confirmation from the Lord that they are suppose to be with us permanently. It really is a hard situation, and so many tears have been cried in this house.

    In a sense, I know what you're going through and I'm going to be praying for wisdom for you and your husband.


  5. I cannot imagine the magnitude of this decision and the weight it must put on your heart and soul.

    I'm praying for you all.

  6. you definitely have our prayers (and support, whatever you decide!) Love you guys!

  7. Wow, what a tough decision. I am praying for God's words to be spoken so clearly to you and Brian!

  8. we were in such a similar boat with our Kenny, it would have been an easier decision to adopt him than to go with letting him go because we just had NO PEACE about adopting him.

    i wanted the answer to be yes, but it just wasn't. now that i have seen him transition into his new family, it is obvious that he belonged with them and not us. we are all happy we listened to God and didn't do something that we didn't have peace about.

  9. Many times, when faced with HUGE decisions like you are facing, hubby and I turn it over to God and say "open doors if you want this to happen and firmly close them if you don't"...he always comes through...even at the last minute when something seemed like a good idea to us, a door would close unexpectedly or vice versa. He will not lead you astray.

  10. We are just two months into our own foster care journey (twin babies-nothing like jumping right in!) and I so appreciate your honesty in the struggle with God's will and being selfless. I am praying that you will know what to do and that the Lord will guide you in a plain path. Also that you will see fruit from your hard work and consistency :)

  11. Praying! Thanks for including us along the way! Can't imagine the weight of the decision.

  12. I just found your blog and so glad that I did. I've been a foster mom for 3 short and wonderful years.

    The decision you and your husband have before you is very difficult. I'm saying a prayer that direction from God will be very clear for the both of you.


  13. I'm praying that you come to the right decision. You guys are doing a great job with these boys!


Thanks for commenting!!


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