Have I let my Kids Down?

 I read this post over at Not Just an Ordinary Life.     

Julie is a mom to 11 kids and has a beautiful heart for children with special needs.  I’m not sure how she does it but she says:

Lest you think we are either crazy or saints, we are neither--just followers of Jesus Christ who desire to follow his commands to take care of the orphans and widows. Any thing that we do is from Him, not of our own strength.

 

Love that.

This post speaks to something I think most moms struggle with.  It was just a good reminder for me – so I thought I’d share.

Have I let my kids down?

Sometimes a phrase catches my eye that makes me think all day. Today, I am already stuck on something...(and I wonder why my kids are perseverative?!)
The phrase..
"And I feel like I have let my kids down..."
This was the first thing I read this morning. It was just one line in a blog post but it made me laugh. This blogger is a Mom who is looked upon as a wonderful example of Christian parenting  and who still feels on some level that she let her kids down. It wasn't a big thing, just something she hadn't introduced them to that she wished she had. If I could be like this mom for just a day, I would be well pleased.
I think the feeling of letting our kids down is universal.
Facebook and blogs don't always help:
I have a sweet friend who homeschools and all of her kids are memorizing the book of James during this school year.  Joy and love for the Lord exudes from this friend. Her posts on facebook remind me of what I wish I had done. Instantly, I feel like I have let my kids down.
I glanced at another blog of a mom this morning...the photos were gorgeous. The moments that most of us don't think to capture on film were all there...they were beautiful and idealic. Have a rushed through parenting and missed the moments like that with my kids? Maybe I have let my kids down..
I have not taught my children to responsibility in the way I should have...I often do too much for them. I have wasted time on things that were not eternally significant...I have worried about what others would think...
I don't make the healthiest meals. I haven't helped them memorize scripture enough. I don't homeschool. Have I let them down?
I wish we would have spent more time listening and praying and worshipping together. I have let them down.
Have I let my kids down? Of course I have. I get annoyed. I get frustrated. I get mad. I am such an imperfect example of Christ's love.
Well, now that I have given them all a reason to enter therapy in the future, I can step back and remind myself that we can not give our children all that they need.. We are human. We are not perfect and to expect otherwise would be a reflection on our own pride. I am a mess. I have said it before...it is still true. I am mess...
a forgiven mess...
a loved mess...
a precious mess...
And...all that really matters is that there is less of me and more of Him. What I have to offer is insignificant compared to what God has in store for them...what He wants to teach them. My imperfections are a reminder that I am in need of a Savior...that we all need a savior. And I have one desire...to have my attempt at parenting glow like a neon sign pointing to the One who will never let them down...
This whole parenting thing is not about me...not about how I have let them down...or built them up. And I am so thankful that I have something to offer them besides my flawed parenting skills...
I can point them to Jesus..and He will never let them down...