I realize I just posted.
I just dropped X-man off at his visit. For the first time since he's been with us (almost 6 months) I met his mother. They have been avoiding any contact between us and his parents for our safety. They wanted to keep us completely anonymous. The combination of mom being completely compliant, X's dad being MIA, and mom not having contact with dad for the last 6 months led them to allow us to meet.
I didn't know I was going to meet her today. I didn't even know who she was when she walked out with his caseworker until we were introduced. But it has changed my heart.
Any animosity that I felt just disappeared upon seeing her. I'm not sure why, I guess this is God's way of working on my heart in this situation. She looks so young. And she is - much younger than me even.
The reality is, is that she is just a person. And being able to see someone as a person, instead of just this ambiguous character that allowed something very horrible to happen to someone you love makes all the difference. She's just a person, fallen like the rest of us. I have no reason or right to judge her, even in a circumstance like this. She just needs Love.
My heart was overcome when I met her. Not because I pity her. And this is not to say that she is not responsible for some very terrible things. But I was overcome with the need to pray for her - to lift her up to the only One who can bring healing to her heart, my sweet boy's heart, and my heart.
My sweet boy, her sweet boy, looks so much like her. Regardless of circumstance, he is her little baby - no legal change, no foster care, no anger, no adoption can change that. He is her little baby. Her little baby, and my sweet boy.
It's interesting how connected you can feel to someone so different, and so strange to yourself.
Please pray for her. For her heart, and for her healing, and for her to understand what Love IS.
Pray for me to love her.