I realize I just posted.
I just dropped X-man off at his visit. For the first time since he's been with us (almost 6 months) I met his mother. They have been avoiding any contact between us and his parents for our safety. They wanted to keep us completely anonymous. The combination of mom being completely compliant, X's dad being MIA, and mom not having contact with dad for the last 6 months led them to allow us to meet.
I didn't know I was going to meet her today. I didn't even know who she was when she walked out with his caseworker until we were introduced. But it has changed my heart.
Any animosity that I felt just disappeared upon seeing her. I'm not sure why, I guess this is God's way of working on my heart in this situation. She looks so young. And she is - much younger than me even.
The reality is, is that she is just a person. And being able to see someone as a person, instead of just this ambiguous character that allowed something very horrible to happen to someone you love makes all the difference. She's just a person, fallen like the rest of us. I have no reason or right to judge her, even in a circumstance like this. She just needs Love.
My heart was overcome when I met her. Not because I pity her. And this is not to say that she is not responsible for some very terrible things. But I was overcome with the need to pray for her - to lift her up to the only One who can bring healing to her heart, my sweet boy's heart, and my heart.
My sweet boy, her sweet boy, looks so much like her. Regardless of circumstance, he is her little baby - no legal change, no foster care, no anger, no adoption can change that. He is her little baby. Her little baby, and my sweet boy.
It's interesting how connected you can feel to someone so different, and so strange to yourself.
Please pray for her. For her heart, and for her healing, and for her to understand what Love IS.
Pray for me to love her.
Hey! I'm also a foster parent. You had posted on a forum I had started on McMamma's Blog Frog. I completely understand how you feel. We had an FST meeting today and it was quite emotional. It's so hard to put my own feelings aside and look at the overall picture. Our case is really messy and lots of people are involved. We're fairly new foster parents. This is our 3rd placement, but the longest one. You had mentioned you were a case worker in Missouri. May I ask what county? I'm in the SW part of the state. I would love for you to follow my blog, but I made it private for safety reasons. You're welcome to email if you'd like. Apryll78@hotmail.com.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a foster parent! I know its so so hard, but so rewarding as well. You've seen both sides since you were also a case worker. I commend you for that!
April
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteI will be praying for you and X-man's Mom! Your words are amazing and so true. I love how God can change anger in my heart towards someone into feelings of love and longing for them to know Jesus. Praise God!
Love,
Katie
I can't imagine how many feelings run through you in the course of a day/week/month. I think it's amazing how God works in our hearts even without us knowing that's what we need. I'm glad you were able to meet X-man's mom and feel love and compassion towards her. You are doing a great thing and impacting lives in so many ways!
ReplyDeleteI'm a new visitor to your blog... your story about meeting xman's mom is so touching. I will hold you all in my thoughts and ask God to give you all extra attention and love to get through any hurdles.
ReplyDeletePeace and strength to you!
Katie - thanks for the prayers! I just hopped over to your blog...and your little man is ridiculously cute. I can't decide who he looks like!
ReplyDeleteSusan - Thank you for your prayers as well, they are always needed! Thanks for coming by the blog!