My Sweet Boy,
You left last night, and it is just so quiet here. Sylvie and I don't fill up our home all by ourselves quite like you did. I already miss you, and everything reminds me of you. It seems there is a hole in my heart where you resided - and while I know from experience that it will get easier for you to be gone - you'll always have a piece of me.
I love you more than you know, little boy. And I will pray for you every day that you are gone. I will pray that you are safe and that someone is loving you incredibly. I will pray that you learn to know God's love, and that you find your comfort in Him as your King. I will pray that you grow up to be a man after Him.
I pray that a family scoops you up that will love you endlessly. I pray that they will learn quickly that you are obsessed with Cheerios, that when you put your hand out it is because you want kisses, that mummo means that you are hungry, and that you love to be tickled on the inside of your little knees.
To me you will always be my son, and know that you will always have a place in our home. I will miss you always, but this season has passed for a reason - and I just cannot wait to see what your life has in store. You are an incredible little boy - you are so strong and loving. I will miss your kisses and your laugh, but you are going to bring such joy to the world with those smiles.
I feel so blessed to have gotten to love you for this season. God used you to help me grow these past 51/2 months - and you are only one year old - think of how he's bound to use you as you grow!
My heart hurts. But only because God fit us together so perfectly. It's always hard to say goodbye - but we will see each other again. Although you won't call me mama anymore, we will always be family.
I love you always.
Love you, love you, love you,
Mamma
This fills my eyes with tears! I am so thankful for you! Thankful and challenged by the way that you and Brian willingly give yourselves away for the sake of others. The Lord is using you!
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears too! I can't say it any better than Rivers just did. The Lord is indeed using you two! :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today. Hugs!
Wow, I know that must be hard. It's amazing how the Lord uses us in the exact ways we need.
ReplyDeleteMany hugs and prayers sent to you and X-man right now. You are an amazing family.
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness, I didn't do any blog reading over the weekend and somehow I missed that your sweet little boy was leaving.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that letter, I felt like I was reading a letter I had written to one of my foster siblings. That pain is indescribable. I can relate to you so well, because I know that there is nothing more painful then giving all your love to a child and then watching as they venture out into the world, without you. I know how it feels to want to protect them and hold them. I know how it feels to want to keep them safe.
Trusting God that He has an incredible plan for little x-man's life. Hold tight to God and let Him be your strength!
~Kylee
I just recently came across your blog and I can't tell you how encouraged I have been! My husband and I are young like you two and we also have one daughter. We have always wanted to have foster kids but have always been told we were too young and yada yada. We are missionaries living in Bolivia right now and our plan on coming down here was to get foster kids when we were suddenly told we had to wait our first year here before we could accept any kids :( I was highly disappointed but am trusting the Lord. If we move back to the states we would love to start fostering. Thanks for your updates and I hope to keep in touch with you!
ReplyDelete~Erin
Oh, I am sad for you too - just know that you made a huge difference in this little guy's life and imagine if you hadn't have been his saving grace the past several months. Thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine the pain that your heart is feeling as you are longing for your sweet little X. This paragraph really gripped my heart...
ReplyDelete"I pray that a family scoops you up that will love you endlessly. I pray that they will learn quickly that you are obsessed with Cheerios, that when you put your hand out it is because you want kisses, that mummo means that you are hungry, and that you love to be tickled on the inside of your little knees."
That's one of the scariest thoughts about fostering. Loving someone so much that you know those little things about them and then having to say goodbye, hoping that someone else will learn those things.
Praying for your heart.
Maggie, I'm Jen Popp's friend, Whitney. My heart hurts for you, too, friend. I will pray for you, and X-man, too. I never thought little boys would be so precious--until I had one. And now my heart breaks for babies that don't have mommas to hold them. I'm so grateful X had you, and I know that you played a major role in his life. Much love, Whitney
ReplyDeleteYou must be so strong to be able to be there for so many beautiful babies and children that need you. It takes a special person to be able to do that.
ReplyDeleteThanks for following my blog. I will now be following yours as well.
That makes me want to cry. I'm sad for X-man, too, because you guys were such great parents to him. I know the Lord has so much in store for him and for you, and I pray that makes the pain a little easier.
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your thoughts and prayers. They really do mean so much.
ReplyDeleteErin - I hope that this post doesn't scare you away from fostering! This is the hardest part. And even in the midst of it, I say, it is worth it.
Stephanie - It is a hard part about fostering - but it is worth it, even in the midst of heartache! Don't let that stop you!
Whitney - Thanks so much for your kind words. Maybe one day when we're in Dallas we'll meet!
Thank you all for your prayers. It takes time, but I pray we're refreshed so that we can love our next placement with just as much of our hearts!