June 30, 2010

Uphill from here.

I got a call from the caseworker yesterday letting us know that they were back from court.  The judge ruled that Mom’s home is not appropriate for the kids.  Dad’s homestudy wasn’t approved either.  The case goal will be changed to adoption as soon as the judge has the official paperwork on the failed homestudy for dad – probably early next week.


I guess in the grand scheme of things this is a good thing – the boys will be safe and taken care of.  It’s just difficult sometimes to see all of that through their broken hearts.  With all of our previous placements, I’ve always felt relief at the thought of the kids not returning home to the abuse or neglect, or whatever plagued the family.  I’ll get there with the boys too, we just have a lot of hurt to work through first.  It will be nice to be at a point where they are through all of the transitions and we can just start focusing on the healing.


One of the questions that I received recently asked if we are open to adoption with Jae and Zee.  There are a lot of unknowns right now that will have to be considered before we can make a decision like that….

  • The boys have two other siblings – a girl who is just slightly older than Jae, and a boy who is 5.  We’ve not even met their siblings yet, and they will keep the four of them together for adoption.  (Thank goodness!)
  • The boys’ siblings are coming here to visit the weekend of the 10th for an overnight stay.  At that point we’ll be able to see the kids interacting together, family dynamics, etc.  We’ll also be able to get a better feel for behaviors exhibited by the other two.  We’ll have a few overnight visits before we even consider having the other two kids move in with us.
  • If they move in, we have to assess how things are going/where we see things going down the road.  Brian and I would still like to have more children (as in birth more children) and we have to be sure we still feel like that would still be a possibility.
  • Also, we are still assessing any safety concerns with the boys.  Since camp, there haven’t been any more threats toward Sylvia – only toward Brian.  So far, so good.


I could go on.  As you could imagine, it will be a very big, very life changing, very prayed over decision.  …So much to think about.  Right now I’m having trouble thinking past 4:00 today when the boys will return home with their hearts crushed, full of hurt and anger.


  1. Maggie...I'm praying and will continue to pray for direction for you guys and for those precious boys as they find out the news and try to process everything.

  2. i am sure that mom must not be capable right now of taking care of then, or ever, but I am so sad for the boys!

    i was wondering myself if you were interested in adoption. have you ever had the chance to adopt any of your other kids?

  3. Wow Maggie.

    I couldn't imagine being in such a position. Perhaps the only potential chance these kids have at stability, since the nice social workers don't want to give them back, instead of being bounced around through the system and separated for life, and you having to choose whether or not they fit into your lifestyle.

    I hope you're happy, whatever way you go.

  4. Oh Maggie, I will be praying for you guys and the boys! Keep us posted!

  5. Hoping that you can find some sort of comfort as your heart is aching for the boys.

    Saying a pray that God shows you his will for the boys future....

  6. Wow. This is one of those good news/bad news situations. Good news because you know the boys won't be put back into a bad situation. But bad news because they are in for so much pain.

    I'm sure that if you get the answer that Jae and Zee won't be a part of your forever family that God is preparing a special place for them. Your hearts are so open to God I'm confident you'll make the decision well.

  7. That surprises me at how fast they went to TPR. Those poor guys. Give them lots of extra love from me.

  8. wow, that is a lot. May the choices becaome obvious which ever way they are made. Hope the aftermath of court is not to hard for them.


Thanks for commenting!!


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