A well. A building. A baby.

  I haven’t posted much about Samaritan Village lately.  I think this is approximately where I left off:

  We are members of the board of directors, and are working with them to get through some kinks in the structure of the organization so that they are in a place where they can send a couple of American’s over to serve. (us?)  Not sure how long this will take – God’s speed.  When we get to that place, we’ll see if it is us he will send, or someone else!  In the meantime, we’re serving in the way that we see God putting in front of us!

 

  We are working on building a second orphanage about two hours away from the current orphanage.  This orphanage came about because a woman came from the area (bringing twins to leave at the orphanage.) and explained that there were lots of children dying in her area because they were being abandoned.  So : orphanage number two.  This orphanage is in Mwanga.  Very exciting.

 

  Anyway…

  Yesterday we got a phone call from the president of the organization to let us know that someone in California made a very large donation to the organization with the intent to dig the well for the second orphanage, and to build the first building there!  Praise God!  So, overnight we went from wondering how God was going to provide for us to build the second orphanage, to having a good portion of it covered!  This came among several other answered prayers regarding the Mwanga orphanage – what a blessing.

Well: Check.

Primary Building: Check.

 

  Other news on the Samaritan Village front:  A new baby was brought to the Arusha orphanage yesterday! 

 

Adorable.

 

  He was found abandoned about 4 kilometers outside of the city.  Amazingly, he was found in generally good health at the hospital before he was taken to the orphanage.  They think he is approximately 11 months old (he’ll be assigned a ‘birthdate’).  He’s not been given a name just yet.

 

  If you could send up a prayer for this little guy, I think he’ll probably have a rough couple of weeks.  Luckily he’s got lots of loving Mamas to take care of him at Samaritan Village!

Back in the Saddle.

  Ahhh, twists and turns, the story of our lives.

I think that some of our twists are a result of a Father who loves us enough to want to teach us to be dependent on Him.  He knows that given the opportunity, I will plan our next two years out down to the letter, even if I don’t realize I’m doing it – and he loves me enough not to let me do it.  He knows there is more beauty in full dependence on Him than there is in a carefully planned out life.

I’m also fairly certain that some of our twists are the result of our fight against dependence, our attempt to plan.  I’ve found that without a very concerted effort to listen, to wait, to follow, I end up trying to take steps that he hasn’t yet led me to, only to find myself doing a little backtracking and learning to wait patiently on God to do the leading.

 

Either way, twists and turns can be a good thing.  As long as we allow them to draw us closer to Christ instead of just into disappointment when plans shift from the blueprints our hard heads have concocted.

 

We continue to work with Samaritan Village – although as we do, it is clear that there is a great need for someone to be here working with the organization on structure and sustainability.  There is just work that needs to be done to ensure that the organization can continue to grow and serve in the long term.  Really, in order for us to be able to serve in that way, we need to be here – going to board meetings and being available for phone communication.  Things we cannot do from Africa, essentially.

So, we will continue to work with Samaritan Village from here until God shows us otherwise.  (I can almost hear the collective sigh of relief from our children’s grandparents. :) )

 

 

Other news?  This means we will be able to continue to foster right now!  I am joyful over this.  Although, God leading, I’d be happy to go to Tanzania, my heart was mourning having to leave fostering.  It is something I am so passionate about, and God has given me such a burden for.  So, praise God, we’re back in the saddle!! 

 

We actually have a respite placement coming this evening – and since accepting the respite placement have had no fewer than 4 phone calls for other children in need of placement.  (Have I mentioned we need more foster parents?)  So, here we go.

And I’m going to try to be better about blogging again.  I plan to make an effort to blog more about Samaritan Village, the fam, pictures, fostering, and this journey of refinement God’s got us on.

 

I so pray that God can be glorified in all of this.  In the twists and turns, in the refining of my heart, in whatever ways he chooses to use us.  That is my prayer.

The Inbetween.

I’m pretty sure I’ve linked this blog before.  And if I haven’t, it is sorely overdue.  It’s full of honest reflections of a family that up and moved to Haiti to serve Jesus. 

Anyway, she recently posted this quote, which spoke to me exactly where we are.  It also has such application to the journey of foster parenting, for my foster parent blog friends.  Always Inbetween.

There's a place between here and there.  A piece of ground in the middle of take-off and landing.  A section of the unknown within beginning and ending.  You probably find yourself there from time to time.  It's the land known as Inbetween.


Inbetween is one of the most rugged places in life.  You aren't fully here, and you aren't fully there.  Your emotions and hopes are strewn across an endless list of possibilities.  Door knobs of wood, brass, and silver line the path, but which will open?  In the land of Inbetween, the paths are lined with sealed envelopes and foggy dreams.  Excitement runs forward and fears hold back.  And if you stay long enough, you feel the tremors of  your soul.


The land of Inbetween is downright scary.  It's a place of blind trust.  It's where the pedals of faith meet the narrow road of fortitude and where movement is demanded though there's no place to go.  The worst part of this land isn't the uncertainty or frustration that accompany it - it's that God likes it when you're there.


While He's no sadist, God loves the land of Inbetween.  He loves what it does to us.  He loves the humility and dependence it creates in our hearts, so He creates innumerable forks in life's road that swerve us into the land of Inbetween.  The unknowns of job, marriage, children, and home are the signs of this uncertain land.  At times, people are thrust into Inbetween by mishaps, accidents, sudden deaths, and even unexpected fortune.  Some people visit so many times they begin to wonder if it's life.  And they aren't far off.


So what will hold you steady when you walk through the terrain of Inbetween?  A recognition that Inbetween is God's design.  In one miraculous moment, the Creator of the universe placed you in the greatest Inbetween of all time - the place between the earthly creation and eternity.  Life's smaller lunges forward and backward are merely postcard reminders that there's something greater than this place we're visiting.


If you're in your own land of Inbetween, remember that God was the original designer of this journey.  You can get mad, scream, and even pout if you want. But it doesn't change the fact that you're merely passing through.  Everything else is Inbetween.  (from Deeper Walk, a Relevant Devotional Series)

 

  This is such a good reminder that this longing that I feel in my soul while we are preparing, waiting, planning, mapping, trusting, is only a picture of my soul’s real longing.  A longing to get where we’re really headed.  A longing to be home and done and settled.  A longing to know that where I am is where I will be.

  A picture comes to mind of Fred Flinstone.  (Of course, the me version of Fred is well, uh, less Fred-ish.  And less covered in animal skins.)  My feet are moving.  Very quickly.  The dust is gathering behind me.  Eventually my feet will hit the ground, and we’ll be moving.  I guess this revving up of sorts is just as important as the moment our feet hit the ground.  (Although, I don’t envision myself yelling Yabadabadoo.) 

  (Come to think of it, lets forget about the Fred Flinstone thing.  It’s the baby brain I tell you.)

 

  Anyway.  This was refreshing for my soul.  We are inbetween, but we won’t be forever.  And God is using this time just as much as he will use our time in our perceived destination.  And it’s only when we get to our real destination that we will truly be out of The Inbetween.

Hi, my name is Maggie, and I am a planner.

Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right? 

  One step forward, two steps back.  That’s what life has been lately. It’s also probably what life will look like a lot in the future as well – it’s just the name of the game working with an organization at the stage of life that Samaritan Village is in.

 

  Our current forward/backward motion, though, is in trying to follow God where he is leading us in this crazy journey.  The steps backward are due to us taking too many steps forward at a time – trying to walk in front of God doesn’t seem to be a great idea.

 

  Really it’s just my human nature wanting to have it all planned.  Wanting to have it all laid out like a map that already has the trail marked.  It’s funny how walking by faith doesn’t generally work like that.  God is the lamp unto our feet – not necessarily the streetlights to our highway – and feet move much more slowly than cars.

 

  Currently we are running into this minor issue called selling a house.  Lots of us have been there – you’re gung hoe and ready to  move where God might take you and then find out that, well, you probably paid a little too much for that house you call home.  We are right there (due to the circumstance, it was worth every penny!), and we’re trying to figure out what we need to do to said house to get what we need out of it.  You know, cause it’s hard to move to Africa when you still have a mortgage.

*Update:  after some more research, it looks like getting what we need out of the house isn’t crazy.  Yeah!

 

  Of course to God these are small issues.  Not in an insensitive, get over it kind of way.  In a ‘I’m the creator of the universe, I can handle things like selling houses’ kind of way.  I just need to let go and know that even the bumps in this path are in fact part of the path.

 

  Some of the ways that we will be serving Samaritan Village, we can do from here.  The organizational, how things flow, best practices kind of stuff.  It is also abundantly clear that they need a couple of people from here to go do a lot of work from Tanzania as well.  It’s difficult to see that need and know that we might not be able to go right now – that God may have us wait a bit.

  So, maybe we’ll end up working for Samaritan Village for a while from the States until God says it’s time to go, or maybe things will work out one bump at a time and we will end up leaving sooner than later. 

  Either way, as long as we are serving Him in the way that He wants us to, we need to be good with that.

 

Of course, it naturally raises all kinds of questions.  Do we continue to foster in the meantime?  How aggressive of a timeline do we shoot for?  Should we even have a timeline?  Oh, and, why can’t I stop planning???

I feel a tap on my shoulder.  “Maggie, I am the lamp unto your feet.  I am the light to your path.”

 

  Right now, one of the keys for me is to see His purpose and His hand in all of this.  These trials that we face en route are just as much a part of where He has us as reaching the perceived ‘end’ will be.  This is not all about the end, but also about allowing Him to grow us in the journey as he lights one footstep at a time.

 

 

Psalm 46:10

             Stop striving and know that I am God.

I can't stop watching

These beautiful children!
I've been trying to upload videos from Brian's trip for days and blogger hasn't been particularly cooperative.
The children there are taught a small amount of English at school, so Brian was able to talk with them a little bit.  If you'll notice in the videos, they primarily say their names, ages, and what school the attend - so I'm thinking that must be what is taught in English 101.

I watch videos of these happy, growing, loved children, and I am in love with the ministry that we are entering into.

Then I see pictures like this one, recently posted by a fellow orphanage in Uganda (which borders Tanzania) -

 and it is crushing.

But I praise God that there are places for them to go.  Places for them to grow and learn and be loved.  And I praise God that he has made this part of our journey.

I cannot wait to give these necks a squeeze.

  I cannot wait for the blessing of seeing Sylvia and her baby sister have 30+ brothers and sisters.  I cannot wait to love these kids.  I cannot wait to have the opportunity for Christ's love to be poured out through me, and for my daughters to learn what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  

We have a lot to do between now and then.

And most of the time it just seems so overwhelming.

There are things and people here that I will miss more than anything I've ever missed before.

But there are times when I think, "Can we just go now?"

Tanzania Post #1 of 250,000 TZS.

  I’ve spent a lot of the last 48 hours converting the cost of things in Tanzanian Shillings (TZS) to dollars.  It makes my brain hurt.  Brian says, ‘oh, it’s easy.  You just multiply everything by about 3/4.’  (Have I mentioned that math and I have a hate/hate relationship?)  So, needless to say, I will likely be carrying around a calculator the first several months we’re there.

 

  Brian returned from his trip with even more excitement than when he left.  The trip served as confirmation for many of the things we were already thinking, and also helped to assuage many of our concerns.  Not that it doesn’t, in some respects, still seem completely insane – but God has been good to grant us peace in place of fear and trust in His plan. 

  Of course I’m still trying to catch and assemble random pieces of information that escape Brian’s sleep deprived mind.  Eventually everything coming out of his mouth will start making sense again – I hope?

 

  We learned quite a bit more about what our purpose there will be, and also a lot more about the organization.  It really is uncanny the way their current needs align with our skill sets.  More on that later – lots of exciting things to share.

  The pictures and stories tell a tale of another world so unlike ours.  A world completely disconnected from the U.S. view of normal and what we feel entitled to.  It’s all a matter of perspective I suppose.  Clean water.  Safe food.  Access to healthcare.  Provision to care for our children.

  But through the poverty, the pictures also show an incredible beauty.

 

 

Beauty in the children.

 

 

Beauty in the culture.

 

Beauty in the land.

  I pray that God would give us the skills and the resources to serve the best and the most we can.  The eyes to see need and pair it with hope.  But I also pray that amidst the things we will see that cause pain, that we won’t miss the beauty in the people that we serve.

 

 

  Where to from here?  Brian and I will begin raising support for our time there as soon as we can.  We have a lot of logistical things to work out, and we have to try to draw up a budget the best we can.  We have to get the house ready to sell, and get ready for baby Popp #2 who will be here in three short months!  Lots of excitement!

It’s also been such a blessing to be forced to recognize our dependence on God.  We are confident he will provide as he sees fit.  Hope to post more soon!

Ringing in the New Year, Tanzanian Style.

Well, Brian is in Arusha! 
I just got an e-mail update from him about all he's doing and experiencing, and it sounds like the trip is going really well.
He's there with the founder of Samaritan Village, the president of the American board, and a few other people who also joined them on the trip.  It took a while for him to e-mail me because they are trying to get a new computer that was just donated to the Village hooked up with internet access.

Brian says:

It's almost 5pm here, and all of the people here are working hard preparing for a new year's party.  They are cooking a goat.  Yes, a goat.  That was alive this morning.   They are expecting over 400 people.  I wish I could just type and type and type, because I want to share with you how everything is going, but I don't really have time, so here is a chronological summary.

I took a ton of pictures on the way back, it took us about 1:15 to get back to the Village from the airport at Kilimanjaro.  The first thing I got to see when we arrived was the dorm, where we are staying.   It is huge!  It's built like a condo or apartment complex, with two floors, two units on each floor (left and right) with stairs to the second floor balcony in between the sides.  Each unit has three bedrooms, three baths, and a 250 sq ft living/dining/kitchen area.  The rooms are a decent size too.  The bathrooms aren't all the way finished yet, the shower is just a shower head sticking out of the wall, no pan or curtain.  Only the first floor is finished, and even then the kitchen area only has a sink right now.
I got to walk around and meet everyone shortly after that.  The kids are beautiful, and so happy and smily all the time.  I will have a lot of pictures, but I'm really really really wishing I had remember to bring our video camera!! 
From the front porch of the main building you can see Mt. Meru (MAY-roo, I got that wrong), and it is stunning. It is so beautiful here, the weather today was a little cool when I first went outside (maybe 65-70 degrees) and it warmed up to 80 this afternoon, with a cool breeze under partly cloudy skies.
Last night we went (along with some of the kids) to a Bridal send off party. (For the fiance of the father of the orphanage)  The best way to describe it is a combination of a wedding reception/rehearsal dinner/bridal shower.  It was at a banquet hall (the large back room of a place called "The Police Officers Mess Hall".   There were about 150 people there, and the party lasted from 6:30 until 11:30.  I will tell you more about it when I get back and show you the pictures, but it was really neat to get a glimpse of their culture.
We got home at midnight, and slept soundly...until 5:30am when the Swahili praise music started blaring from the chapel, and I heard Josephat preaching loudly for the morning service.  So sleeping in wasn't an option.
This morning I had pancakes (pan fried corn-flour sweet thick tortillas) and a banana fresh from the market for breakfast, then I spent some time journaling, walking around taking pictures of the place, and helping out a little with cleaning up the grounds.
This afternoon we went in to Arusha to do a little shopping; we went to a handmade craft market and I bought small gifts for you and sylvie.
Oh honey, there's so much here that I want to tell you about, so much that I can't even fit it all in this email.  But there are two things that I haven't mentioned yet that you need to know.  1) I haven't seen a single mosquito, even last night as darkness fell and I was standing in the parking lot of the police officer's mess hall.  and 2) the well water here is safe to drink!  I have been drinking it for 24 hours now and I still feel fine!
I'm feeling well, though a little tired.  I am glad to be here in this beautiful place, and I really need to learn swahili.  That phrasebook and Tanzania book were very helpful to me, as I already had the basic conversation pieces (hello, goodbye, how are you, good, fine, yes, no, please, thank you) down before I got here!
I love you, I miss you, and I have already taken 350 pictures. kiss and hugs to you and my beautiful daughter!
Love,
Brian

I can't tell you what a blessing it is to get these e-mail updates!  It is also such a blessing for him to get to go there to see Arusha, the orphanage, and to meet the people before we actually move there.  God has given me so much peace about all of this, even just through this one short e-mail.

Anyway, just wanted to share the update!  Hopefully there will be more soon, and of course lots of pictures when he gets back.  You're prayers are so appreciated!

I’ll try to make sense.

I’ve been hesitant to post much about my thoughts and experiences thus far about going to Tanzania.  Mostly because there has just been so much going through my mind and heart that it is hard to sit down and put any of it into much of a discernable post.  But, while part of my motivation to blog is to have memories to look back on, I also don’t want to blog in vain – so a lot of my motivation is in hopes God would use it to be helpful or encouraging, or even a warning of what not to do!  That’s been my motivation blogging through our fostering experience, and it’s my motivation now.  Looking at blogging through fostering, I think it’s been the most helpful or encouraging when I’ve been completely honest.  So I’ll try.

And God will use it if he wants.  And if not, well, that’s His prerogative.

Brian is leaving in just ten days to go to Arusha, Tanzania.  Possibly the place we will call home in just a few months.  Maybe not home.  Not right away.  Home is here, and we will be there, and for quite some time after we arrive, we would just be travelers.

My feelings about it continue to fluctuate between excitement, nervousness, and full blown fear.
The excitement and passion is from God.
The fear is from my flesh.

But Lord, what about my children?  There are so many risks there, so many diseases that I don’t know.  So many unknowns.  Lord, this love you’ve given me for them, it’s unrelenting.  Even for this one in my belly that I’ve never met.  It is a savage, intense, raw love.  I just need to know that I can protect them.  What if, what if, what if.  How do I let go of this?  I know you won’t take us anywhere that is not best for us, and for your glory, but, BUT…
I hear it in my heart – what I’m really saying.  What I’m really saying is that I need
control.

But there is a quiet whisper back, ‘Maggie, are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside of my care.   Even the very hairs of their heads are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; they are worth much more to me than many sparrows.  I love them more than you can understand, with a love much more fierce than your own.  Remember, they are my daughters too.

You  can  trust  me.

You have placed your trust in other things.  You have placed your trust in yourself.  You have placed your trust in your insurance card.  You have placed your trust in Brian’s job.  These securities are only an illusion.  They are all from my hand.

I am their protector.  I am their provider.  I am their shelter, health, and breath.

And I love them even more than you do.

And, I am God.

You  can  trust  me.

He has been consistent to calm my fears and to remind me that what the world may see as crazy, He sees as obedience. 

The reasons we would go are pretty well summarized in this book and also in this one. (Both very good.)

Also here:

  I guess lastly, to finish up this completely indiscernible post (I warned you.) I just want to say that I really, sincerely hope that nothing I post about Tanzania (or about fostering in the past) comes off sounding self righteous.  If anything, I want to post to show that God uses people who are otherwise useless.  People who do “radical” things for Christ are not to be held up.  If any of this has taught me anything it is just more about how incapable I am without Him.
I am scared.
I am untrusting.
I am cold.
I am selfish.
And anything good is His work.
Just wanted to put that out there.