March 15, 2010

Respite? Long Term? Selfish?

We got a voicemail about another potential respite placement for this upcoming weekend.  Three kids, in our age range (12 and under), and that’s about all we know.  Most of me says, “Of course they can come here!  What are their favorite foods, movies?, things to do?  Bring it on!”

But there is a small part of me that is thinking that there is a possibility they would call us with a long term placement between now and then, and if we say yes to respite, we’d have to say no to that.  Is this selfish?  I don’t know.  This could sound totally wrong, but I said I’d be honest.

I’m really looking forward to another long term placement.  I feel like we can make a more lasting impact with long term placements, I love having kids placed with us who really become a part of our family, and I like knowing that I’m going to get to love on these kids for some extended period of time.

But, there is also this nagging inside of me, telling me that we should just help however they need us, and that if that means respite, so be it.

Ugh.  I don’t know if I’m being selfish.  This whole thing may even sound silly and blown out of proportion – but it is potentially changing the make-up of our family for then next several months (years?).  Anyway, prayer and discerning comments are appreciated.


  1. That's hard. I mean, on one side, there is planning for the things that might happen, which is a good idea to an extent, though it can sometimes limit your perception of what your choices are.

    Part of me thinks that if "most of you" says "Bring it on!" with enthusiasm (and of course, Brian too), that may not be just you saying it.

    Of course, if you did get offered a long term placement and couldn't accept, I know you'd hate to feel bad or regretful about having to turn it down. Is there any way that you could talk to your caseworker about some workaround if that comes up, since the respite is only a weekend? (I really don't know the system, so, you know...)

    Either way, I will pray for you guys and all that you are doing,and yes, I realize my comments aren't actually all that helpful, though I hope knowing that others care and at least attempt to understand how hard these decisions are help you continue to be strong in what you are doing.

  2. Will be praying for you for feeling (and how we plan to approach it when we get approved) is that if the children are a fit then we will take whoever we get calls about as the calls come in. Respite or long term you are still having an impact on their lives!

  3. Hi Maggie... fellow foster Mom here. I read your blog every now and then, and love your "voice" on the experience of fostering and parenting!
    I wanted to tell you this time, that when we took our current placement (twins 9 month olds at the time they came in... 18 month olds now)...I had a respite placement. I was watching an infant for 12 days, and they called me on day 7 or 8 about the twins. I was disappointed to tell them that we were busy. They called back 1/2 hour later and said they would make it work.
    Just a thought. Usually if it's meant to be its meant to be!
    Hope that helps and God Bless!

  4. Don't second guess yourself and don't miss out on opportunities to serve kids--regardless of how long they might stay. My advice is to put it in God's hands and then you can have the peace of knowing He has it all planned out. Pray about it and say yes when you hear His call. Say no when you don't, because that means He has something else in store for you. I will be praying that you will be able to discern the difference.

  5. I don't have any experience or words of wisdom, but wanted you to know I'll be praying for you to make the decision that is right for you. Hoping you have some little ones around soon that you can impact in such a great way and love to pieces!

  6. I will absolutely be praying for you and your family. Follow your gut feeling-- it won't steer you wrong.

    I'm your newest follower from Friday Follow. :)

    Best of luck! I'll check back in soon.

  7. Thank you all so much for your prayers and your input. It really helped me to clear my head about it and to have a new basis for thought. I'll keep you updated!


Thanks for commenting!!


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