I have a heart of stone. I don't get attached. What? I don't shed tears over children leaving our home. Coming, going, what's the difference? Right? I was actually born without a limbic cortex.
That's not true. I do have a limbic cortex.
I am partially convinced that most of the people we talk to about foster care think I must be wired backwards or something. We get a lot of
"I don't know how you do it, I wouldn't be able to let them go."'s, "I would get attached."'s, and "I just think it would be too hard for me to say goodbye."'s
(If you have left any of these in comments - I'm not offended, or even upset! I'm just sayin' I've got no super powers.)
I think that people, without even realizing it, make an assumption that we must have some superhuman capability to deal with the pain that is left behind when one of our kids moves. It's not true though. It hurts. We cry. We have to heal.
Any one of the people who have said these things, I'm sure would make wonderful foster parents. Wonderful foster parents, who were sometimes broken by the experiences. Wonderful foster parents who would, despite the hurt, take a second placement for the same reason that they took the first.
Brian and I started fostering because God asked us to. He asked us to both biblically and by prodding our hearts. Sometimes (actually often) if we are listening, God asks us to do things that are hard. He asks us to do things that hurt. He asks us to take risks for His kingdom. He asks us to be used in ways that don't make sense to the world, so that the only explanation is Him - and in that he is glorified! What an opportunity!
It was very, very painful when X-man left, and when our sweet girls left, and when we've had to say goodbye to emergency placements trusting they would be safe. But we aren't any stronger (or hard hearted, ha!) than the next. It is God's strength, and His love he has put into our hearts for these kids, that keeps us refreshed.
So no excuses! You all need to call your local foster agency! (Just kidding....but not really.)